Thursday, September 29, 2005

Star Got Shined On

Page Six has a gleefull, giddy report about Star "I Had Gastric Bypass And I Look Freaky Deaky" Jones being dumped by the E! Channel. Apparently her contract to do red-carpet pre-show interviews for award shows like the Emmys will not be renewed, thank the sweet baby Jesus:
Jones, who grated on the nerves of viewers and E! execs by continually promoting her wedding last year, made her final appearance as the cable channel's red carpet reporter at the Emmys this month.

The option in her contract for another year was not picked up. "One year was enough," our insider said.

Jones claims the decision was hers, and told The Post last week she'll be too busy promoting her book, "Shine: A Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love" (Collins), due out Jan. 6.

The tome is about her meeting and mating with hubby Al Reynolds.

"I couldn't make any commitments next year beyond supporting the book and doing 'The View,' " Star said. "I want to make sure I do my everyday job very well."

But PAGE SIX predicted her exit from E! months ago when execs groused about her ratings and the way she pressured stars on the red carpet into coming onto "The View."

"This has been in the works for a while," said one insider. "She just didn't do well on the red carpet and E! is letting her blame the book, but they were the ones telling her they wouldn't be picking up her option."

The source then snickered, "Do you think Star would give up good money and a load of freebies from the goody bags and the dresses for a book? No way."

The new E! red carpet team is Kathy Griffin — considered to be almost as funny as Jones' predecessor, Joan Rivers — plus Giuliana Depandi and Carson Kressley.

The insider added: "If E! were smart, they would put Kathy on the red carpet to interact with the celebs instead of on the bridge just commenting on them. She is comedy gold and even if she upsets people — so what? Joan Rivers always p - - - ed people off, but they always came back."

Here, here! I agree with the snitch! Getting rid of Star Jones is good for the E! Channel, good for awards shows, and good for America!

I do, however, take exception to the assertion by Page Six that Kathy Griffin is "almost as funny" as Joan Rivers. Kathy Griffin is twice as funny as that mean old bag! Joan looks exactly like the late Wayland Flowers' dummy, Madame--except Madame made me laugh every once in a while and didn't have a hideous, annoying daughter with her who had no career of her own. Although Melissa does seem to be made of wood...

Anyway, having witnessed "Queer Eye"'s Carson Kressley do a "Fahion Police" segment with Kathy, I can attest that this dynamic duo, these doyennes of dish, these bastions of beyotch, would be the best things to happen to the red carpet since Tara Reid's exposed boob! Huzzah!

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Wayland and his dummy, Madame...

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...and Joan and her dummy. Uncanny!


Lucinda said...

(FYI: Johnny Rat calls Melissa Rivers "Chew Toy." As fitting a nickname as I've ever heard.)

porkmuffin said...

i love Kathy! the show she did with Carson was totally hilarious! they need to put K/C front and center on all red carpets!