Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Not A Girl, Now Definitely A Woman

US Weekly is having a total online cow over the news that Britney Spears has finally given birth to another Federline spawn:
It's a boy! Us Weekly is the first media outlet in the world to report that Britney Spears gave birth shortly before 1 p.m. Wednesday at Santa Monica UCLA Medical Center, according to hospital sources. Us was there as Spears, 23, and husband/aspiring rapper Kevin Federline, 27, arrived at the hospital with a police escort shortly before 6 a.m. and medical staff whisked Spears into a birthing suite. According to hospital sources, Spears was wheeled into a delivery room about 12:15 p.m. and within minutes the first-time mother had delivered via C-section with Federline by her side. (A rep for Spears had no comment.)

As reported in the Us cover story now on newsstands, Spears experienced early labor contractions on Sept. 9 and then spent the next several days in much physical discomfort. ''Pregnancy has not agreed with her,'' a Spears pal told Us. ''She has been sick a lot.... She couldn't get out of bed all weekend.''

Although the couple has not yet legally named the baby boy, sources tell the magazine they had planned to name the child Preston Michael Spears Federline. The child is Federline's third (he has two children, Kori, 3, and Kaleb, 1, with ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson).

Sources tell Us that Spears plans to return to her $7 million Malibu mansion with her newborn within the next few days. In the October issue of Elle, Spears said she looked forward to motherhood, proclaiming, ''I'm gonna be a hot mom!''

Yes, Brit, you will be a hot mom, if by "hot" you mean "pimply, barefoot, and chubby," which, hey, you know, is hot. It's the look that's always worked for me, anyway!

By the way, this article makes it sound like Us photographers had their camera lenses inside Brit's womb during the delivery. Can't wait for the tasteful four-page photo spread!

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Memories...of the way we were. Adieu, Preggers Brit. Adieu. Until next time!

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