Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Lusty Leprechaun Hitchhikes Due To Dipsomania!

O, Colin Farrell! How awesome are you? Let me count the ways, young sire...you not only hath an x-rated video with a Playboy Playmate, but also an illigitimate child with an ex-model, a huge problem with mead, a possibly-fake working-class Irish accent (secretly posh you may be!), and a propensity for throwing thyself on ladies of any age, size, nationality, sexual orientation, inebriation level, race, consciousness, or creed. And now Page Six reports that you were so drunk you had to hitch a ride recently:
It's not often you see a hitchhiker in tony Palm Beach — especially a famous one.

But hard-partying actor Colin Farrell was spotted stumbling backward on the side of the road with his thumb stuck out, reports The Post's Braden Keil.

"We couldn't believe it was him," said our eagle-eyed female spy, who drove by, then picked up the "Alexander" star in the wee hours. "He looked really wasted."

Our source and her male acquaintance drove Farrell to the Breakers — the plush hotel where the lusty leprechaun was registered as Irish literary icon James Joyce.

Farrell invited the two up to his room. They declined.

What a lovable scamp! Asking up a woman and a man to his room for a little menage a trois--he's always on the prowl, that Colin! I can't believe what fuddyduddies those two were--if they were telling the truth about not joining him in his hotel, that is!

At least he wasn't drinking and driving--this little incident shows how responsible and caring Colin is about his possible future sex partners, ie all of mankind. I mean it, better to be stumbling down a road with his thumb out than behind the wheel of an SUV, drunk out of his gourd, spewing lines from "Ulysess." I can't help it. He's a charming rapscallion!

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Like most hitchers, Colin knows you get more rides in your loin cloth.

In other non-news, we still have a Caption Contest going on down below, and so far Deron B. is way out in the lead. Mainly because he's the only one who entered. Don't put me to shame, readers! Win one for the (Felt) Upper!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

perhaps colin would "pamper" me if i gave him a "lift". har har . erica v