You Know How To Be Vulgar, Don't You? You Just Put Your Lips Together and Jump Up And Down On Oprah's Sofa

Oh, kiddies, it's a slow, slow, slow non-news day, I'm afraid. But speaking of afraid, I did find this little tidbit about Ms. Lauren Bacall, whose whole persona of smoky-voiced ballsy dame scares the bejesus out of me on a regular basis.

It seems Ms. Bacall had some choice words to say about Tom Cruise and his highly-publicized ride to Crazy Town. Yay! According to the NY Daily News:

In an interview in the Aug. 8 issue of Time magazine, now on newsstands, the 80-year-old actress says, "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."

"His whole behavior is so shocking," she says. "It's inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it's kind of a sickness."

Bacall was alluding to Cruise's displays of emotion and public courting of Katie Holmes in the weeks leading up to the release of his new film, "War of the Worlds." Cruise and Holmes became engaged in June after he proposed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

And lest we forget, the Daily News helpfully reminds us that:

Last fall, Bacall made similar remarks about Cruise's ex-wife Nicole Kidman, her co-star in "Birth." While promoting the movie, Bacall became irritated when an interviewer described Kidman as "a legend."

"She's not a legend," Bacall said. "She can't be a legend at whatever age she is. ... You have to be older."

Well, I agree with every crotchety, cranky thing Ms. Bacall has ever said about Tom and his former beard Nicole, so I hope that means that if I ever meet her in a dark alley, she won't beat me about the head and face with her handbag. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Lauren Bacall is terrifying!

Word to the wise, Tom Cruise: You got bigger problems than thetans making you depressed, buddy--you got a Bacall to contend with, and she's way tougher than anything Xenu could throw down, man!



AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Run for your life!