Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Run To The Hills!

Ooh, there was some old-timey Battle of the Bands goin' down this weekend, huzzah!

Apparently, a California Ozzfest show turned ugly when Sabbath fans started throwing eggs at Iron Maiden. According to CNN:
Iron Maiden's manager has condemned Ozzfest fans who pelted the band with debris during its performance at the hard rock festival's weekend stop near Los Angeles.

The British metal veterans also endured periodic outages of the sound system, and Ozzfest organizer Sharon Osbourne came on stage afterwards to call Maiden frontman Bruce Dickinson a "prick" for allegedly berating her husband, Ozzy Osbourne.

Sunday's dramatic show in San Bernardino, California, was Iron Maiden's last on the Ozzfest tour; Velvet Revolver has joined the lineup in its place.

"In 30 years in this business and after hundreds of gigs I have never seen anything anywhere near as disgusting and unprofessional as what went on that night," Ron Smallwood said on Maiden's Web site (

"The scale, viciousness and concentration of the throwing made it obvious that this was a premeditated and coordinated attack. Assaulting musicians while performing by throwing bottle tops, lighters and eggs at them from just a few yards away is vile, dangerous, criminal and cowardly."

Without naming names, Smallwood says he knew who was responsible for attempting to sabotage Iron Maiden's set, audio and video clips of which have begun circulating online.

"Those who participated or stood idly by and watched as all this went down should also be ashamed of themselves and I would certainly hope they never come near a tour with which we are involved," Smallwood added.

"If l had any sort of problem or misunderstanding with a band working on a tour we were involved in I would go and talk to them or their manager -- not wait until the end of a tour and assault and ambush them," he continued.

Oh, boo hoo! Iron Maiden got called a prick by a middle-aged mommie and had some eggs thrown at them! This is supposed to be heavy metal! Even indie rock dweebs of the lowest order could take a lil' eggin'!

Smallwood. Dude. Listen, man: It's not very metal of you to want a civilized sit-down with management when a tour problem arises! You're supposed to settle these petty jealousies with a large piece of wood, a jousting competition, and perhaps a little fire-settin'. Duh.

In other urgent, pressing non-news, Star Magazine is reporting that Johnny Depp has "girly man hands."

Yes, according to Jeannette Walls' MSNBC "Scoop" column:
Johnny Depp may be able to do a convincing pirate’s voice, but apparently he falls a little short when it comes to a pirate’s hands.

The makers of the sequel to "Pirates of the Caribbean" are looking for a gnarled-hand double for Depp because the "Edward Scissorhands" star has “girly man hands” according to the Star.

A spokesman for the flick denies the story, but a source told the tab, “[Depp] has very feminine hands, with long, slender fingers. It’s posed a bit of a problem for them.”

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Johnny's hands are a little feminine, I suppose...but I still love him!


Spare E said...

re: man hands

Maybe Courtney can get some work once she gets out of rehab!!

Check out the gnarled mitts on her!

jennifer said...

Jesus. Her hands look like they belong to the bloated corpse of a dead chain gang member!

Anonymous said...

I also heard Johnny Depp has beautiful skin, with invisible pores. Maybe he's part lady?

Terri R.