Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss, But The Moss Likes To Get Stoned

Sorry for the delay in posting today, but I was too busy giggling over the fact that, according to The WOW Report, the British press is calling Nude Law "The Talented Mr. Tiddly." (Even though the consensus at Felt Up HQ is that Jude is not all that teensy, it's still fun to laugh and point!)

Anyway, there wasn't much non-news out there today. I did get this little report from Gossiplist, however. It is a firsthand account of an encounter with the Doomed Crackhead/Mossy Affair, and mainly describes Ms. Kate Moss' beyotchitude:
We were at the Dior afterparty on the 5th of July because The Others played and they put us on the list, and Kate and Peter were there. At first she seemed ok to me...I went up to them, drunkenly exchanged a few words with Peter and lit Kate's cigarette, and at that point she just seemed stoned but otherwise fine.

But then, when members of The Parisians went up to talk to Peter because they know him, Kate apparently threw a fit and practically chased them away...

Then, when The Paddingtons played, I stood right next to Peter and Kate, and when he went up to sing on "50 to a £" with them, she rushed from where she'd been standing, and forced herself to the front of the stage. At one point, I accidentally bumped into her - the way you do at gigs, right? - and she shot me the most evil look possible, as if I'd committed a horrible crime by accidentally touching her.

Basically she just kept acting like that all night, from what I and my mates saw. Completely arrogant and bitchy. Needless to say, me and my mates were Not Impressed.

Well, to be fair to Mossy, it is actually a horrible crime to accidentally touch a supermodel. It's right there in the Geneva Convention: Section II, Paragraph IV: "No citizen of the undersigned countries shall engage in the unneccessary touching, handling, or grab-assing of an internationally-recognized supermodel, unless specific exemption has been granted by said supermodel. Any citizen who engages in such activity will be tried by a three-member tribunal, and the punishment may include, but is not limited to, eye-rolling, excessive sighing, and/or expulsion from the immediate area by a large bald man wearing a headset."

You're just lucky it wasn't Naomi Campbell, man!

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Naomi with her weapon of choice...

But back to Mossy. "Stoned?" "Arrogant and bitchy?" Our Lil' Kate? I find that hard to believe! Why, she's a close personal friend of fellow healthy dieter Lindsay Lohan--how could she possibly be anything but sweet as never-eaten pie? And really, nothing that the above informer describes is all that bad. I've seen far worse behavior backstage at the Dior afterparty, let me tell you! The stories I could tell about Andre Leon Talley!

A few more pictures of the elusive doomed couple have finally started to circulate:

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(via MyVillage)

Either Crackhead is fairly tall, or Mossy is rather short. (I know she's supposed to be short for a model, but here she looks short in comparison to the regular, non-modeling hoi polloi.)

Crackhead's looking almost perky. Less peaked. That $30,000 naltrexone implant Mossy bought him to fight that monkey on his back must be doing some good!

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