Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Love Shack, Baby!

This is just a tiny (yet wonderful) bit of fluff, but according to my Gossiplist newsletter, people on the Internets are calling Angelina Jolie "The Wombraider." As my beloved Brini Maxwell would say, why didn't you think of that?

In other non-news, I must shamefully admit that I have never seen the E! Channel's "Kill Reality" show, which apparently features a bunch of ex-reality tv personalities living in a house together filming a horror movie, but after this report in Radar Magazine's Fresh Intelligence column, I might just have to watch (on someone else's cable):
The hot-blooded stars on E!’s Kill Reality series are supposed to be filming a horror movie, but the scenes backstage may be more fitting for a triple-X booth. While their on-screen debauchery has already earned the series impressive ratings, a source close to the show claims the real reality action took place at the stars’ communal Malibu beach house.

“The whole cast was drunk or wasted throughout the taping, and everyone was having sex with everyone else,” says the insider. “Not only were there orgies, but at one point someone relieved himself on Trishelle [Canatella, of Real World: Las Vegas and Playboy fame] in full view of the cameras—and, from what I saw, she loved it.” In another booze-fueled bacchanal, we hear Tonya Cooley, the lusty blonde of Real World: Chicago fame, begged co-stars to do lines off her genitals “because it turns her on.”

On a more romantic note, true love somehow managed to blossom between the strung-out participants. While viewers might be charmed by Survivor reject and internet porn star Jenna Lewis’s none-too-shy courtship of Real World: Las Vegas alum Steven Hill, we hear the relationship on everyone’s lips was the one between Kill Reality’s only gay star, Reichen Lehmkuhl of The Amazing Race 4, and American Idol’s Clay Aiken. While Aiken never appeared at the house, we hear Lehmkuhl was constantly taking calls from the pixie-like singer.

“Reichen swears there’s nothing going on,” says our source. “But Clay kept calling non-stop. It was all very weird.”

Though much of the show’s footage is too raunchy to make it onto the small screen, the show’s producers are apparently compiling an outtake reel of the kinkiest moments. “Other than the bathroom, every room was filmed, so there’s some really good stuff,” says the source, who hinted that the hottest material will find its way onto the internet sooner or later.

Wow. Except for Clay Aiken, I don't know who any of these people are, although the phrase "slutty Trishelle" does ring a faint bell somewhere in the far reaches of my noggin. But who cares if these are not exactly A-listers? Drunken druggie golden showers in front of the camera crew? Orgies? Claymates? Color me there.

And by the way, if Reichen marries Clay, will his name be Reichen Aiken? That would be rockin'!

Here's Reichen!

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And the bestest picture of Clay ever!

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Might as well throw in some Sluts on Parade. First it's Slutty Trishelle in Stuff Magazine:

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And even sluttier Tonya "Lines Off My Genitals Turn Me On" Cooley!

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Huzzah!

1 comment:

Spare E said...

I watched the first episode or two of this show while in was in the Valley recovering from a massive Mai Tai hangover.

There's a slimey looking guy who always refers to himself in the 3rd person... a psychotic woman (could be genital coke girl) who hooks up with him (as she apparently had on some other reality show they were on together) and in one of the early episodes she's super wasted and threatens to jump out the window of the house their in.... and it may have been an above-the-first-floor window.

Oh, and some raving lunatic woman who keeps trying to get her character in the horror film changed. She was to play a cop but claimed she couldn't pronounce the character's name and wanted to pretty much change the whole script to give her a name she could pronounce and a whole lot more lines. Hilarious!!

I love Reichen Aiken!