Monday, August 01, 2005

A Little Stalking Never Hurt Anyone

I'm bored, sitting here at work, so I thought I'd peruse the "Gawker Stalker" section at, yes, Gawker, wherein the hoi polloi send in their celebrity sightings.

Here are my favorites:
Last Friday evening as I was heading to the ever reliable C train at Lafayette in Ft. Greene I saw Mos Def hanging around the entrance to Havana Outpost, the new Brooklyn “hot spot”. He seemed to be engaged in conversation, but was distracted by a stranger staring at him. He is strikingly handsome and strikingly small.

Swoon! Sigh! Oh, Mos! Is there a single celebrity this side of Tim Robbins who is not "strikingly small," I ask? I once stood next in line to Rob Lowe and we were eyeball to eyeball. FYI: I am 5'3". Oh, and he was buying a lava lamp.

Next up we have this anonymous report:
I was at lunch today 7/28 at the World Wide Plaza...trying to take a break from the monotony of 9-5. I heard a shriek, flung my head around and saw Beyonce and Jay-Z walking out of the recording studio in an adjacent building - sans entourage/ bodyguards. Everyone in the plaza watched (some screamed in amazement) as they walked 100 feet to Jay-Z’s car - the windows had curtains. Beyonce wore short jean shorts and her hair glistened like it was actual gold. jay-z was wearing a royal blue and white thick striped collared polo. I pretended not to care, but screamed on the inside.

Wow. I would have screamed on the outside, most likely. Hair like actual gold! Huzzah!

And finally, from the "Dammit, Why Don't I Live in New York?" file:

Scissor Sisters
Secret Show under the name ‘Portion Control’, wed. nite @ Mercury lounge. In the corner by the stage were: photog David LaChapelle and my favorite part: Jake Shears’ Mom Frieda dancing with Faye Dunaway! The gays in the audience were going berserk the whole time, yelling out “Mommy Dearest!” in between songs. She looks great, sort of like Amanda Lepore’s mother might look...

Wow! All they needed was the ghost of Judy Garland to dance the hoochie-coochie with Rip Taylor to blow the gay-o-meter off the charts! How awesome. I'm so jealous! Things like that just don't happen in Texas, for some strange reason. For those of you unfamiliar with Miss Lepore's body of work, she is a bodaciously frightening tranny who makes her living by showing up at various openings, partis, events, and whatnot looking like this:

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Now let's see if Faye Dunaway could possibly look like Miss Lepore's long-lost mommie dearest:

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Why, yes, indeedy!

If anyone has a celebrity sighting they'd like to send in to poor, humble Felt Up, please feel free!

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