Tuesday, August 23, 2005

If Alicia Silverstone Is Fat, Then I Am a Human Blob With No Reason To Live

The paparazzi are running even more amok than usual lately!

First Scarlett "Harlot" Johansson crashed her car at Disneyland trying to evade four SUVs full of photographers, and then poor Alicia Silverstone had her own horrific encounter with paparazzi at LAX.

According to Softpedia, Alicia said:
"I was walking through LA airport and saw a group of photographers. They suddenly gave chase, screaming, 'Hey, Fat Girl!

'I just had to escape. I ended up hiding in a box."

The article went on to say that:
Alicia Silverstone earned the heartless nickname after she dressed in a tight PVC cat suit which showed off her curves as Bat Girl in movie 'Batman'.

Let's look at a picture of Alicia in her "Bat Girl" costume, shall we?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Well, they do have a point. What a lardass. Fatty, fatty, two-by-four, can't get through the kitchen door! Go hide in a crate, you fat slob!

The thing is, she wasn't ever fat to begin with, but now that she's the Vegan Poster Child, she's thinner than ever. Remind me never to become a famous movie star, all right? I'm pretty sure my fragile ego couldn't take having to hide in a cardboard box after being chased by a bunch of people screaming "Fat Girl" at me in public. I already lived through that in junior high. Once in a lifetime is enough!

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