Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Doom Is Upon Us

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Here are some yucky bits-n-pieces that may make you fear that the end of the world is, indeed, nigh.

First up, from Page Six, comes the news that K-Fed's baby mama Shar Jackson is dating Quentin Tarantino:
Odd couple alert! "Kill Bill" director Quentin Tarantino, 42, and Shar Jackson, 28 — the mother of Britney Spears spouse Kevin Federline's two children — spent the holiday weekend together in Las Vegas.

On Saturday, they dined at Nobu in the Hard Rock Hotel, where they were "holding hands and acting like a couple," a source tells Us Weekly...

Jackson told the magazine that she and Tarantino are just "friends" and were in Sin City celebrating her mother's birthday.

Sorry, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Not that there's anything wrong with Shar, per se; it's just that the idea of anyone having sexual intercourse with Quentin Tarantino makes me gag. Violently.

And, from Salon's "The Fix" (via Ireland Online), comes this compelling explanation from Pete Doherty as to why his Live 8 performance was a virtuoso display of suckitude:
Babyshambles frontman -- and Kate Moss squeeze -- Pete Doherty insist[s] that Bob Geldof's 16-year-old daughter, not drugs, were to blame for his strange, slurred performance at Live 8: "I wasn't lost for words and I wasn't out of it on drugs. Just before I went on stage, Peaches squeezed my bum hard and whispered something rather suggestive to me. It left me in such shock, I didn't know where I was. Bob Geldof has organised this amazing global event, I was facing 210,000 people, the cameras are rolling, and f**king Elton John is duetting with me. And Bob's daughter has secretly made a pass at me. It's all I can think about. It did my head in. I didn't think Bob would be very happy."

What a gent that Pete is, blaming a motherless 16-year-old girl for his craptastic showing at Live 8!

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Peaches Geldof, Man's Ruin.

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Pete Doherty, Ruin.

Dear Lord in heaven above, what does this mean, these pairings? Shar-n-Quentin, Peaches-n-Pete?

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It means, "That's Armageddon!" replies God. "Duh."

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