Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Something to Crowe About

It's slim pickin's out there, I'm afraid, loyal readers. Unless you care deeply about Victoria Principal being rushed to the hospital for treatment of a "rare blood disease," (according to WENN), then the only remotely interesting celeb-related non-news of note is the litany of past bad behavior of Russell "Assault With a Deadly Phone" Crowe, from Page Six:
Tales of Russell Crowe's boorish behavior just keep on coming.

When the obnoxious Oscar winner was filming "A Beautiful Mind" in Princeton, N.J., he made frequent trips to Manhattan and often ended up at Scores. One night he was drinking champagne and getting lap dances in the topless temple's President's Room with wife Danielle Spencer, says a source. Crowe's hair-trigger temper flared when a maitre'd had the audacity to refill his flute with fresh bubbly. "Did I ask you to pour that?" Russell growled. "Do you want to take it outside, mate?" The strippers feared there was going to be a fight, but Spencer calmed Crowe down.

Crowe once pulled a similar stunt at the now-defunct Serena bar under the Chelsea Hotel. A former bartender tells us he refused service to Crowe after the hell-raising hothead threatened him. "He was a total [bleep]hole," recalls the barkeep.

This isn't even the first time he caused a scene at the Mercer Hotel, where he was arrested Monday for hurling a telephone at the concierge. Back in 2001, Crowe rattled security at the Submercer, the private space under Mercer Kitchen, when he knocked "La Femme Nikita" star Peta Wilson to the floor during a sexually-charged shoving match. After Wilson got up, she and Crowe promptly made out.

Crowe's rep did not respond to our request for comment yesterday.

Dude, you need to come up with a new catchphrase; "You want to take it outside, mate?" is so 1998.

And what exactly is a "sexually-charged shoving match?" I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I like the sound of it. Especially the fact that after shoving Peta to the floor, they "promptly made out." Naturellement. It sounds like a bad (and these days, what other kind is there?) "SNL" parody.

I like and admire Russell Crowe's acting abilities, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I'd rather eat my own arm than have to spend one second around the guy. It would be like walking on egg shells while carrying nitroglycerin and being tickled with a feather--uncomfortable, terrifying, and irritating all at the same time.

I can't decide if he is helping or hurting his career with all these silly shenanigans, but like the song says, "We got Trouble, right here in P.R. City! With a capital 'T' and that rhymes with 'C' and that stands for 'Crowe!' (That stands for 'Crowe'!)"

Sorry, I love show tunes! And I'll use them again if I have to!

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Are certain words creeping into your child's vocabulary? Words like, 'swell'? And, 'So's your old man'? Then we got TROUBLE!

(Stan Freberg did the best version of this song I ever heard.)

The TV version of Music Man was one of the most ill-conceived and embarassingly cast performances I barely watched.

Oh, wait. This isn't my blog. Sorry...