Thursday, June 30, 2005

Reality Bites!

Goddamn it! I am outraged! Outraged, I say!

First, whorish soap-opera-"star"/clod/beyotch/egomaniac/terrible dancer Kelly Monaco beat out a former New Kid on the Block--the lovable and self-effacing Joey McIntyre--on "Dancing With the Stars" last night, which means Monaco is in the final two, against gallant/charming genius John "J. Peterman" O'Hurley!

And now I have word from Rebekah M. via Terri R. that there is a rumor going around that they screwed up J. Peterman's scores last week and he never should have been in the bottom two! We smell a Kelly Monaco conspiracy! Which doesn't surprise me in the least! That little troll Monaco will stoop to any depth to win, any depth at all! She's probably sleeping with the old English vaudevillian judge! Aack! If anyone has any information regarding this urgent matter, please email or comment! It is a matter of international importance! The status of the USA in the world of competitive ballroom dancing with amateurs is at stake!

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Behold the man, the myth, the legend: John O'Hurley. Look at him! He's so awesome. I don't know what the blue ribbon is for, but it better be for beating the tiny, barely-there, incredibly tacky, sparkly hotpants off that slut Kelly Monaco in the finals of "Dancing With The Stars." However, I think it has something to do with those dogs. Damnit! Cute, but, still. Damnit!

Now the NY Daily News is reporting that ABC has pulled the plug on "Welcome to the Neighborhood," which was about a group of homeowners in my own home town who get to vote on who will receive a free, brand-new hideous house in the Circle C subdivision out in the suburbs. The show was never even aired! The previews made it clear that a variety of prejudices were going to be exposed--the neighbors cower in terror at the sight of a tattoo-covered family, Hispanics, gays, poor people, etc. It looked riveting. Riveting! And now I'll never get to see it!

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From the Daily News:
"Welcome to the Neighborhood," an ABC reality series that pushes hot buttons of racism and anti-homosexuality, was pulled by the network before its debut. The program had drawn criticism from groups claiming it risked fostering prejudice.

In a statement Wednesday, ABC acknowledged the delicate nature of the series in which families asked to pick a new neighbor are made to expose and overcome their biases.

"Welcome to the Neighborhood" demonstrates what happens when people are forced to "confront preconceived notions of what makes a good neighbor," the network said.

"However, the fact that true change only happens over time made the episodic nature of this series challenging, and given the sensitivity of the subject matter in early episodes we have decided not to air the series at this time."

The six-episode show, which was to debut July 10, follows three families in Austin, Texas, who are given the chance to choose a new neighbor for a house on their street.

Each family initially wants someone similar to them - white and conservative.

Instead, they must choose from families that are black, Hispanic and Asian; two gay white men who've adopted a black child; a couple covered in tattoos and piercings; a couple who met at the woman's initiation as a witch; and a poor white family.

In the early episodes, one man makes a crack about the number of children piling out of the Hispanic family's car and displays of affection between the gay men provoke disgust.

The series' producers had said it was intended to promote a healthy and open debate about prejudice and people's fear of differences.

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, after viewing the series, expressed strong concerns.

While it ultimately carries a valuable message about diversity and acceptance, those watching the first episodes could be left thinking discrimination is "not that big a deal," GLAAD spokesman Damon Romine said Wednesday.

"Regardless of how things turn out at the end of the last show, it's dangerous to let intolerance and bigotry go unchallenged for weeks at a time," he said, adding that GLAAD hopes a revised version might air.

Before ABC announced its decision, the Family Research Council said it was worried evangelicals would be made to appear judgmental and foolish.

Oh, for f**k's sake! They have taken away my potential viewing pleasure because on the one hand, GLAAD thinks that the progam makes discrimination "not that big a deal," and on the other, because the Family Research Council worries that it makes evangelical Christians look like intolerant a-holes? Make up your minds, people! You can't have it both ways! And sorry, but many, many people, evangelical or not, are "judgemental and foolish." In fact, maybe every human being on the planet exhibits these traits to one degree or another. Hello! That's exactly why I wanted to see this show!

And what could be more intolerant than to deny my basic civil rights by yanking this series off the air? There was going to be a witch family! Witches! I feel that my taste in the televisual arts is being discriminated against! And it was on regualar broadcast tv, not cable, which I don't have, so it's also discriminating against the poor. Thanks a lot, GLAAD and Family Research Council. Thanks a friggin' lot--for nothing! Argh. Grrr. Grumble grumble...

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A taste of what might have been...Although these aren't the actual witches from the show. Or are they? Now, I'll never know for sure.

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