Friday, June 03, 2005

No Laughin' in Laughlin

When I saw this headline at CNN.com, I assumed it was referring to one of the rowdy Gallagher brothers from Oasis:

"Fan claims Gallagher hit him at show"

But I was wrong. Dead wrong:
LAUGHLIN, Nevada (AP) -- Police are investigating a California man's claim that comedian Gallagher slapped him during a show at a southern Nevada casino.

No criminal charges have been filed on the misdemeanor battery complaint, Las Vegas police Sgt. Chris Jones said Wednesday.

William Edwin May III, 40, of Anaheim, filed a police report May 27, several hours after the incident at Don Laughlin's Riverside Resort Hotel & Casino. It alleges that Gallagher walked on a table, berated a waitress and slapped May on the side of the head.

Gallagher, 58, is best known for smashing watermelons with a sledgehammer.

He didn't immediately return a message left Wednesday at his office in West Palm Beach, Florida.

He acknowledged in an interview with the Las Vegas Review-Journal that he struck an audience member, but compared it with throwing a pie in someone's face.

"It got a laugh, and that's what this is about," he said.

The comedian said he had wanted to bring May onstage, as he had done the previous night, but May was talking with the cocktail server.

Gallagher was fired from his Memorial Day weekend booking after protesting the policy of selling drinks during his show, Roy Jernigan, Riverside entertainment director, told the Review-Journal.

Gallagher said he quit.

The comedian had worked at the Riverside for more than a decade.

Good god. What is the most disturbing and/or depressing thing about this article? There's so much to choose from! First we have the fact that Gallagher has been working at a Laughlin, Nevada casino (which is second only to opening for Judy Tenuta at the Ha Ha Bunker as the bottom of the comedy career ladder) for a decade...then there's the fact that he was fired from said ultra-prestigious A-list gig (sorry, he quit--right, right)...then we have the bit about slapping an audience member on the face being an integral part of his act...and Gallagher insisting that no alcohol be allowed during his show (is he mad? what else besides massive amounts of booze and possibly a lobotomy could induce someone to sit through a Gallagher performance?)...and, last, but not least, the Associated Press' mention that he is best known for smashing watermelons with a sledgehammer. Oh, I almost forgot: The man who is pressing asault charges was at Gallagher's show two nights in a row.

Gallagher makes Carrot Top look like Lenny Bruce. But hell, even Carrot Top has a high-paying regular show in Las Vegas, not to mention those god-awful suicide-inducing phone commercials...so maybe it's more accurate to say that Gallagher makes, oh, say...I don't know...Pauly Shore look like Bill Hicks. But, no, no...even Pauly has had a teensy-tiny career renaissance with his mockumentary "Pauly Shore is Dead." No, actually, I am unable to come up with a comparable sub-par comedian on the same level of sad, pathetic, face-slappin', watermelon-smashin' Gallagher.

Why, oh, why couldn't it have been Liam slapping Kate Moss while trashing an airplane or something? That would've at least been fun. This just makes me want to smash my own head with a sledgehammer...
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1 comment:

chepo said...

WHat's even sadder is that there was a Gallagher IMPOSTER going around for years doing gigs as Gallagher. I think it might have been his brother.