Tuesday, June 28, 2005

More News of The Doomed Doherty/Moss Affair

Page Six reported today that supermodel/cypher Kate Moss was briefly "married" to the man his yearbook voted Most Likely To Be Described As "Drug-Addled" in The Press, Pete Doherty, in some sort of acid-trippy hippie faux wedding chapel during the Glastonbury Festival in England:
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have tied the knot.

But unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your take), the marriage only lasted for the weekend.

The supermodel wed her addiction-challenged beau in the "Chapel of Love & Loathing in Lost Vagueness" at the Glastonbury Music Festival.

The London Sunday Mirror reports Moss was on hand to watch Doherty perform with his band, the Babyshambles, when they got hitched in a ceremony that's only valid for the duration of the festival.

And while there was no time for a honeymoon, the couple danced to George Michael's "Faith" and the Human League's "Tell Me When" at a party thrown by Diesel to celebrate.

Uh, Page Six, I'm pretty sure the band goes by Babyshambles, without the "the," as everyone who is anyone knows by now. Duh. And isn't every day spent with Pete Doherty a kind of honeymoon, really?

God, can you imagine the scene inside the "Chapel of Love & Loathing in Lost Vagueness?" Can you imagine the smells? I envision lots and lots of patchouli, barefoot anorexic drug fiends, Indian print muslin fabric blowin' in the wind, mud, poo, bongwater, possibly a gong but definitely a sitar, lava lamps, more mud and poo, Sienna Miller in full rich-girl boho chic regalia, someone from The Darkness in a spandex jumpsuit, a boa constrictor or python or both, I Ching readings, a spiritual advisor in a kaftan and jeweled headdress, tarot cards, lots of white people with really filthy dreadlocks, peacock feathers, extremely bad body odor pouring off everyone, toddlers with curly hair and dirty diapers, some wee English gnome having a "bad trip" in the corner, yet more mud and poo, a psychedelic lightshow, possibly some kind of lute player drinking from a flagon of mead, and, of course, Shane MacGowan on the verge of collapse. That's the scene that comes to my mind, anyway. I could be completely wrong, of course.

The reception was brief, but fully catered with great panache:

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The happy bride and groom said after the ceremony that they felt "changed" and "more mature," as this photo of the newlyweds bears out:

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Congratulations on your faux rock festival nuptials, you crazy kids!

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