Thursday, June 02, 2005

And Lo, A Sheen Was Born Unto The World

Yes, pretty-in-a-tacky-way Denise Richards has given birth to another Sheen--and the whole of womankind should thank holy Mary, Mother of God, because it's a girl, according to the Associated Press (who relied on our Holy Celebrity Bible for the information):
Denise Richards has given birth to a daughter, People magazine reported. Richards, who filed for divorce from Charlie Sheen in March, gave birth to the couple's second daughter, Lola, Wednesday night at a Los Angeles hospital, her publicist confirmed to the magazine. The baby weighed 6 pounds, 10 ounces.

Sheen was present when Richards gave birth, and mother and daughter are doing fine, People said Thursday.

The couple have a 15-month-old daughter, Sam...

In divorce papers filed March 2, Richards cited irreconcilable differences. It was her first marriage and Sheen's second. They began dating after Richards guest-starred on Sheen's former TV series, "Spin City."

It was also a lucky break for Charlie, as the AP reported that he'd placed a $50,000 bet with a Las Vegas bookie named Jimmy "The Shark" that the sex of his child would be female just days before the happy event took place.

The odds were 50-50, according to the Nevada Gaming Commission.

After cutting the umbilical cord with his coke knife, Sheen celebrated the birth, and his winnings, with lap dances from his "very special friends" Jasmine and Coco, jello shots, and multiple hands of video poker at the Pussy Cat Cabaret, before retiring to his seedy bachelor pad to cry lonely, bitter tears and throw darts at future ex-wife Denise's recent Playboy cover, contemplate his visitation rights, and play a few more hands of online poker.

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