Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Urine My Heart, Urine My Soul

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Here's some non-news you really can't use. From WENN:
Britney Spears' positive pregnancy test has been sold for charity - by an Internet casino website which claims the test was found in the bathroom bin of a Los Angeles hotel where the pop beauty recently stayed.

The 23-year-old singer announced last month that she is pregnant with her husband Kevin Federline's baby. And Goldenpalace.Com bosses say they have auctioned the stick she urinated on to confirm her pregnancy suspicions, and that proceeds from the kit will be donated to US charities The Candlelighter's Childhood Cancer Foundation and The Easter Seal Society, which helps disabled children.

A spokesman for the online gambling emporium says Ottawa, Canada's radio station New Hot 89.9 initially purchased the test from a "connection" the station has at the unnamed hotel where the kit was found.

OK. First of all, how in holy Christ do they know for sure that it's Britney's pee stick? And second of all---I'm sorry, but this bears repeating in non-graphic form, many times, with firm conviction--EWWWW GROSS!

This next one kind of warms my heart. Also from WENN:
Actor Colin Farrell has been left red-faced after 70-year-old actress Dame Eileen Atkins boasted she recently rejected his desperate requests for casual sex.

Cold Mountain star Atkins revealed the Irish lothario spent nearly three hours begging her to sleep with him, but despite his stunning looks, she turned him down because he is 42 years her junior.

She explains, "Three weeks before my 70th birthday, a simply stunning, gorgeous big film star came into my hotel room for sex without strings. I spent two and a half hours saying no, but it cheered me up fantastically. I said no, in the end because he said, 'The reason you won't do it is because your body isn't as good as it was when you were young, isn't it? But I don't care about that.'

"But I'm too proud of how I looked when I was younger. My body is still the same weight, but it's all distributed in a different way."

The actress initially intended to spare Farrell's blushes by keeping his identity secret, but her agent says, "I can confirm that it is Colin Farrell that made the advance."

Atkins and Farrell met during filming of movie Ask The Dust which hits cinemas later this year.

Oh, Colin. This makes me like you all of a sudden! Trying to woo an elder thespian like Dame Atkins. He knows, like the cast of "South Pacific," that there is nothin' like a daaaaame, nothin' in this world...there is nothin' you could naaaame, that is anything like a dame!

And finally, even though I am now a fully-registered member of the NY Post, I was only able to access the top Page Six story--the rest of the column was down due to "heavy traffic." The lead was all about the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum in NYC. Apparently Dolce and Gabbana threw a hissy fit because they were given a bad table, and:
Earlier on the red carpet, Jessica Simpson looked lovely in black and red, struggling up the steps in her high heels as the guest of Michael Kors. Once inside, however, she encountered dress drama when her zipper got stuck — and she ended up in the bathroom in tears.

When she was at her table, the songbird was kept busy trying to avoid being photographed with her "Dukes of Hazzard" co-star Johnny Knoxville, who kept trying to get close.

Heh. And we all know which part of Jessica he was trying to get close to. I bet he had a bottle of salad dressing in his hand, ready to go. Fat-free, of course.


Greg said...

Britney's pee stick would be nice, but I'm already bidding for Madonna's pap smear.

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