Wednesday, May 25, 2005

This Is Going To Burt Me More Than It Burts You

Burt Reynolds is the bestest celebrity in the whole wide world, second only to Liza with a Z. He bitch-slapped a CBS producer for being an insolent dumbass, which was the only right, correct, Burt-type thing to do, if you ask me:
NEW YORK (CBS) Actor Burt Reynolds slapped a CBS assistant producer in the face at a movie premiere in New York City.

The producer was asking Reynolds, 69, about his new movie "The Longest Yard" outside the premiere in Chelsea Tuesday night when the actor became annoyed.

"You don't know anything about the movie?" Reynolds asked.

The producer acknowledged he hadn't seen it or the original 1974 version. Reynolds then slapped the producer. "What ... kind of guy are you?" he asked.

Jeff Lane, a spokesman for Reynolds, said in a statement that Reynolds "playfully tapped (the producer) on the cheek, as if to say, 'Well, that's not very nice.' He was kidding."

At the end of the movie actor Adam Sandler and other stars left throught the theater's front door, there was no sign of Burt Reynolds.

The producer works for CBS NewsPath, which provides video footage to affiliate stations. No word on how the producer plans to proceed from here.

I guess by "proceed from here" they mean "how many lawyers he will contact," but I think he deserved to be slapped. It's already an outrage that they are re-making a great movie like "The Longest Yard," but then to bother a star of Burt's caliber with some young punk who knows nothing of his ouvre, well, all I can say is that he should be thanking his lucky that he wasn't at the re-make of "Deliverance."

This all reminds me of a similar incident a few years back, when intolerably loathesome MTV VJ Kennedy asked legendary Academy Award-winning (for his brilliant portrayal of Bela Lugosi in "Ed Wood") actor Martin Landau on the red carpet who he was and what he was doing at the "Mission Impossible" movie premiere, and he replied, quite irately, that it was because he was the star of the original tv show, you ignorant, annoying, Republican slut (or something to that effect) and Kennedy got all bent out of shape, like "how was I supposed to know who this old man was?" and the whole thing made me want to kill someone. And that someone was Kennedy. Because why are you talking to people on the red carpet if you know nothing about movies, including the history of the specific movie that you are covering?

Hey tv executives! How about hiring a person who actually knows something about pop culture before you send them into the trenches of infotainment? But who? Who could possibly meet all the necessary requirements? Someone with experience writing snarky gossip blogs, perhaps? Someone with a dazzling personality, encylopedic knowledge of obscure and useless celeb-related factoids, a quick wit, and a dynamite rack? Let's put our thinkin' caps on and see if we can think of someone who fits the bill...

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