Tuesday, May 03, 2005

She'd Rather Eat Durst

This next tidbit gets two--count 'em two!--handy Felt Up graphics. First:

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Then the story from the Las Vegas Review Journal:
If Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey weren't officially over, they could be after this hits the headlines: she and Limp Bizkit horndog Fred Durst were all over each other in the Body English VIP booth during the Hard Rock Hotel's 10th anniversary celebration.

Which leads to this, naturally:

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Because, seriously, people: Yuck! Gag! Spew!

I can understand a lil' harmless Johnny Knoxville salad tossing--Jess is only human, after all--and even though that particular jackass is married with child, at least he seems funny and fairly good-looking. Not my type, mind you--not brooding or menacing enough--but still. Understandable. But sweet Jesus! Fred Durst? I know she's one small level above retarded, but dear God I thought she at least could see. Is she so dumb that she's lost her sense of sight, smell, and taste? Is she autistic? Anyone would be better then that piece o' crap. Pauly Shore! Carrot-Top! Tom Arnold! Corey Feldman! Mini-Me! Then in the realm of the non-famous, there's the homeless guy down the street who screams at the cars! Come on, lady! If you have to cheat, fine. Cheat. Whatever. But at least get your rocks off with anyone on the planet besides FRED DURST! AAAAAAAAAAH!

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