Monday, May 23, 2005

Faux-Sensitive "Rocker" in Hooker Shock!

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Page Six is reporting that permanently bedraggeled, be-dreadlocked, and b-oring Counting Crows singer Adam Duritz has been fingered, so to speak, by a NY pimp for being the Charlie Sheen of hirsute ersatz folknik singer/songwriter dweebs :
Jailed escort agency kingpin Jason Itzler says one of his best clients was Counting Crows rocker Adam Duritz

Speaking from Rikers Island, where he's doing time on prostitution, drug and money-laundering charges, Itzler told PAGE SIX: "He used to hire four or five girls at a time and spend $10,000 or $20,000 a throw. I'm only revealing his name 'cause I don't think it's gonna hurt his career.

"I find this hard to believe," Duritz's rep told us. "He's a rock star, for God's sake. He gets some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood."

His manager's office also called Itzler's tale nonsense. Duritz may be a bit lacking in the looks department, but he's dated the likes of Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston and Monica Potter.

Itzler says his client roster at his NY Confidential escort agency, which raked in $500,000 a month during the year-and-a-half he was in business, included senators, mayors, mobsters, top cops and money men.

One hedge-fund star used to prop his tax return, showing he'd made $48 million, on the pillow next to a hooker's head during steamy sex sessions, Itzler claims.

It just goes to show that rich people aren't like the rest of us: If I propped my own tax return on a pillow, it would just cause me to start sobbing uncontrollably, and possibly vomit, which isn't very sexy--although I suppose there is a fetish out there for that, since there seems to be a fetish for everything.

That little tax-return story got my mind off the main point of the story: EWWWW! GROSS! People have sex with Adam Duritz! Paid or unpaid, it is the stuff of nightmares. Nightmares! I have never understood how he scores these beautiful actresses--inluding Mary Louise "I Sure Can Pick 'Em" Parker--all the time. Does he pay them, too? Because real hookers don't look so great on the red carpet? It's the only logical explanation, becausue EWWWW! GROSS! SEX WITH ADAM DURITZ!

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i bet your ugly ass has never even had sex i mean come on you spend your time bashing people on blogs??

go get a life and dont talk shit about adam duritz you dirty bitch

Anonymous said...

Maybe, right now, someone is saying the same thing about you. Let's face it beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So he's noy "your cup of tea." This doesn't mean you tyr and degrade someone else or someone else's choice/preference. You must be very lonely.

Anonymous said...

Adam writes beautiful lyrics and you write trash about people you don't even know.

I think we know who wins that round.