Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Muu-Muus Are A Girl's Best Friend

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I know the Felt Up Nation will be shocked--shocked!--by news of yet more trouble in Spederline Paradise--again! Right on the heels of the yokel's trip to Vegas, which he spent with his hand up the skirt of a skanky escort, while possibly preggers Brit and her dog Bit-Bit holed up with her brother (who reportedly loathes K-Fed--I can't imagine why!) comes this news that the lovebirds are being torn apart by a cruel, uncaring world!

Page Six is reporting with great glee that:
Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline just might separate before their UPN reality show premiere next month, if their current behavior is any indication.

Just after Federline spent the weekend before last in Vegas, where a "hostess" was keeping him company, the couple holed up in the Fairmont Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica — but in separate rooms.

A spywitness staying there said, "They moved into the hotel because their house in Malibu is being renovated. But Britney stayed in the main building and Kevin stayed in the bungalows.

"They were not together at all the entire week. They called their family in for an emergency meeting. They are having serious issues, and the families were called to try and help them work it out."

Sadly, the two spent almost no time together talking things through, even though Spears is widely believed to be pregnant with Federline's child — although it has not been confirmed.

"Every time they came and went to and from the hotel, it was in separate cars," we're told. "Kevin played a lot of golf at a nearby golf course and Britney was just roaming the hotel everyday in either a muu-muu or an oversized sweatshirt, sobbing. Her mother was with her, but not Kevin.

"Britney left the hotel [Monday], but Kevin is still here."

Felt Up is proud to announce that it has obtained an exclusive photo of poor Britney with her new, darker-haired look, just before she broke down in tears:
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Oh, Brit. Stay strong! And don't let anyone make you feel bad for being all emotional and whatnot. Sobbing in public is totally understandable! Your Felt Uppette does it on a daily--nay, even an hourly--basis! And lord knows she loves a muu-muu!

Stay tuned for more information as it becomes available....

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