Sunday, April 03, 2005

Give It To Me, Baby (Give It To Me)

Your Felt Uppette doesn't usually dirty her delicate, dainty hands in the world of politics, but this little nugget in Page Six caught her fancy:
A Hattiesburg, Miss., policewoman and her husband found out the hard way how popular Dave Chappelle's Comedy Central show is - especially his catch phrase, "I'm Rick James, bitch!"

Diane James' husband, Rick James, is running for Hattiesburg City Council.
She wrote to Comedy Central: "Due to the popularity of the Dave Chappelle show, people keep stealing our 'Vote Rick James' yard signs ... we would appreciate a small campaign donation for more signs, as we are working-class people and financing this campaign out of our own pockets. Each time a sign is stolen, it costs us $4.75! Every time a 'Rick James' piece runs on your show, we stand to lose dozens of signs overnight, which end up decorating people's front yards and dorm rooms ... the yard signs have been spotted at least 100 miles from our home by truckers ... Also, young children on bikes scream, 'I'm Rick James, bitch!' as we drive by in our car with our 'Rick James' car signs ... People even drive by our home and scream, 'Super Freak.'"

No word on whether Comedy central will pitch in for more signs.

Diane James, I have some words of avice for you: You are looking at this the wrong way! Don't try and distance yourself from the Superfreak (may God rest his soul)--you should embrace "I'm Rick James, bitch" as your new campaign slogan! Thousands of young caucasians will rally to your husband's siren song and he will win in a landslide! Get your husband a braided wig! Print up some t-shirts with "I Love You Mary Jane" and "Superfreak Army" on the back--and sell 'em, along with the damn signs!

Take it from me. My ex-next-door-neighbor, Bart Simpson, ran for Congress from San Antonio, and...well, I'm not sure if he won, in fact I'm fairly certain he lost, but he got a lot of attention! You can't buy that kind of publicity! My god, woman, you've already made it to Page Six! Be grateful!

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I'm Rick James, bitch, and I approved this ad!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Candidate for Mayor of Jonestown: James Brown.

Nary a "hardest working politician in Jonestown" or "I Feel Good" reference on any of his campaign materials.