Thursday, April 14, 2005

America's Misunderstood Sweetheart

I am in the middle of my annual Income Tax Frenzy, brought to you courtesy of our sponsors: Procrastinate ("Why Do It Now When You Can Wait Until the Last Minute and Drive Yourself Mad?") and Lazy Ass (their theme song is sung a la Barbra Streisand: "Blogette Asses Are The Laziest Asses in the World!"). All of this is to explain why the posts today and tomorrow may be on the brief side...

However, I'm not too wrapped up in my financial woes to ignore this, from the NY Daily News:
Is fashion designer Jay McCarroll, winner of Bravo's "Project Runway," coming apart at the seams?

McCarroll, who beat out 11 other designers on Heidi Klum's popular cable television show to win a $100,000 prize, suffered a meltdown at Tuesday night's launch party for cartoonist Robert Crumb's "R. Crumb Handbook" at the Stella McCartney boutique in the Meatpacking District.

My brave associate Hud Morgan bore the brunt of McCarroll's outburst - but not before the "Project Runway" star exploded at a party guest who mistook him for one of Donald Trump's protégés: "I'm not on the f--ing 'Apprentice!'"

Whirling on Morgan, McCarroll then launched into an unsolicited rant about rival designer Kai Kuehne, formerly of the trendy fashion label As Four.

"For God's sakes, the guy had Docksides on tonight! Who the f-- wears Docksides besides people in nursing homes?" McCarroll hissed into Morgan's tape recorder. "He always looks like some kind of maharishi who just came off a carpet. There should be stricter border rules in America! Where do these people come from?"

Yesterday, Kuehne told Morgan: "Oh no! I don't know what to say about that. I don't think anybody has the right to try to forbid anyone anything - this is the land of the free. How did he win? Is the show really that bad?"

But the 29-year-old McCarroll, who was sporting a 10-gallon hat, pink sunglasses and giant poncho that hid the wine glass he was holding at crotch level, revealed an even uglier side when Morgan inquired about his headgear.

McCarroll: "I'm from the country. I live in the f--ing woods. Where are you from?"

Morgan, whose hometown is Dublin, N.H.: "A town of 1,500, actually."

McCarroll: "And where do you live now? Where do you live now, a--? ..."

Morgan: "Is this how reality stars get their 16th minute of fame? By insulting everyone?"

McCarroll: "Well at least I have a sustainable career ahead of me. You're working for the Daily News. Why do you want to see people fail? What is it about you that wants to see people fail? Why are you mocking me?"

Morgan: "Um, I think you're pretty much mocking yourself."

McCarroll: "You're such a [anti-gay epithet] that you can't even see straight."

Morgan: "So now we're reduced to gay-baiting?"

McCarroll: "What sort of a name is Hudson? Your parents must have been [repeats anti-gay epithet] to name you that."

Before McCarroll could say anything more, a panicked publicist finally swooped in - too late! - and hauled him away.

Yesterday a chastened McCarroll phoned Morgan to apologize. "I had about 900 drinks and I'm really, really sorry for screaming at you like an a--," he said. "I remember calling your parents [a rather colorful anti-gay epithet], but at the end of the day, you're doing your job, and I shouldn't be making personal attacks on you, and I'm sorry."

Well, first of all, how on God's green Earth did someone mistake Jay McCarroll AKA America's Sweetheart, "who was sporting a 10-gallon hat, pink sunglasses and giant poncho that hid the wine glass he was holding at crotch level," for an "Apprentice" contestant? That's just insane! If someone did that to me I would go on a diva rampage!

Then again this whole report seems written by people who a) never watched "Project Runway"--which all good and decent folk did, religiously, and b) don't hang out with fashionistas very often. This is our Jay to a "T"! This is how he is--wild and crass and rude and funny; we'd be bitterly disappointed if he'd been modest and quiet and unassuming. Bitterly!

So, lighten up, Daily News. Do you think this kind of scene doesn't go down on an hourly basis at places like Stella McCartney's showroom? Do you honestly not know that bitch-slaps and meltdowns are fashion-business-as-usual? Jeez, you're acting like a bunch of damn rubes! Hicks from sticks!

Come to Texas, Jay. We understand you. We love loud, crude, flamboyant men here! Well, some parts of the state love them more than others. But come anyway! Just stay out of Williamson County and you'll have a blast. And for the love of all things holy, make sure to bring Austin Scarlett! You can start filming your updated "Gay Odd Couple" show right away! We have cameras here and everything. Even lights and cables and whatnot. I think.


Anonymous said...

Jen, I just found you via the Austin Craft Mafia, but I had to throw in a quick <carson> love it! </carson>. You're SO spot on. Jay's a diva and has earned every tantrum he throws via his time served on reality TV.

Anonymous said...

Oops. Jennifer. Really, I shouldn't be nicknaming you without your permission!

jennifer said...

How very nice of you--and please, nickname away! Just don't call me late for dinner.

Ba dum dum.

Thank-you, ladies and germs!