Friday, March 11, 2005

We Are All Pottery Barn Lesbians Under the Skin

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There are more developments in the ongoing Boy George/Rosie O'Donnell/Madonna war of words! Yippee!

This all started when Mr. O'Dowd released his new book, Straight. In it, he criticizes every famous person who ever lived, bless his little heart! He said Madonna's Kabbalah fixation makes a mockery of the gay love she's received during her long, long, long career, and that Rosie O'Donnell isn't gay enough. Page Six reports:

Madonna is firing back at Boy George after the '80s pop star blasted her for cynically bilking her gay fans.

George says Madonna's devotion to Kabbalah is the ultimate act of hypocrisy. "It's ironic that she's joined an organization that says homosexuality is a disease that can be cured and no one picks her up on it," George told the London Times. "After making all those millions of dollars out of gay people, pretending to kiss girls, pretending to be a lesbian! I think she's cynical."

But Madonna's rep, Liz Rosenberg, says George is the one being cynical. "There's not enough room on PAGE SIX to respond to Boy George's ridiculous accusations," she told our Jared Paul Stern, "much less list Madonna's long-standing passion, love, commitment and devotion to the gay community which has not changed for 20 years."

Rosenberg insists Kabbalah does "not discriminate against homosexuals, nor do they work toward changing anyone's sexual preference. I wish Boy George would go back to writing songs . . . Does he ever have anything nice to say about anyone?"

Actually, no. George also attacks his former friend Rosie O'Donnell in the interview, a promotion for his memoir "Straight," just released in England. He blasts O'Donnell for ruining "Taboo," the much-maligned 2003 Broadway musical in which he starred and which she produced. George says Rosie was too domineering and neutered the show because she's not gay enough.

"She's a Pottery Barn lesbian," George sniffed to the London Times.

"Rosie put up her own money [$10 million] to bring his show to Broadway," O'Donnell's rep, Cindi Berger, retorted. "It sounds terribly ungrateful, if you ask me."

O'Donnell herself responded to the barb in her Formerly Rosie Blog, which she describes as "the unedited rantings of a fat 42-year-old menopausal ex-talk show host."

"I am cast as a villain, a Pottery Barn lesbian, not quite gay enough," O'Donnell writes. "My knighted gay brother called to tell me, we laughed. Georgie boy . . . unreachable. Fame is fun again."

O'Donnell is referring to Sir Elton John, who is also trashed in George's book. In the interview, George berates John for singing a duet with Eminem — whom some accuse of homophobia — at the 2002 MTV Awards, noting, "It's like me singing with Pol Pot."

I'm sorry. I know Boy George is a has-been and whingey whiner with sour grapes and a boulder-sized chip on his chubby shoulder, but I can't help but love anyone who says mean, nasty things about Madonna and compares Eminem to Pol Pot! It is in terribly poor taste to bite the Rosie that feeds you, though; which makes it all the more delightful that he does. "Pottery Barn Lesbian"--do I hear a new t-shirt design in the making? And really, aren't we all Pottery Barn Lesbians, deep down? Although maybe I'm more of a Restoration Hardware Lesbian.

By the way, if you're wondering why Rosie's quote makes her sound deranged, it's because a) she is, and b) Page Six fails to mention that her blog is entirely in haiku-ish stream-of-consciousness verse. Yes, her blog is in poetry form. You heard me right--I said POETRY! I can't decide if that's really awesome or horribly pretentious; perhaps a litte of both? Check it out for yourself, if you can. I heard so many thousands of people were trying to leave comments that it crashed her server...I feel your pain, Rosie. I sometimes get one or two comments a week here at Felt Up. It ain't easy bein' Miss Popularity, is it? We should start a club or something.

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