Monday, February 28, 2005

Trouble in Paradise; Bazooms Identified

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I thought Gwyneth was looking a little paler and more blah than usual at the Oscars last night!

WENN is reporting that her holy, sacred marriage to pale, British husband Chris "The Very Poor Man's Thom Yorke" Martin is sliding down a slippery slope. I am bereft with news of this terrible tragedy---not!
Gwyneth Paltrow's marriage to British rocker Chris Martin may be on the rocks after only 14-months - the pressure of combining their successful careers, marriage and parenthood is tearing them apart.

The couple have shared a series of blazing rows as they spend more and more time apart - the Coldplay singer has been working on his band's highly anticipated but delayed third album, while the Oscar-winning actress has been left at home in London looking after their eight-month-old daughter Apple.

A friend tells British newspaper the Daily Mirror, "Adjusting to married life, then being parents and now trying to sort out their professional lives has been a lot more difficult and complicated than either of them imagined."

Tensions between Paltrow and Martin recently boiled over at New York restaurant Next Door at Nobu - which has a no reservation policy - as they waited for a table. The row only came to a close when the Shakespeare In Love beauty stormed out and waited in their car - but Martin defiantly waited for a table.

An onlooker says, "The argument began about the table, but turned into more personal things." The couple will be spending the next weeks apart as Paltrow films new movie Running With Scissors in Los Angeles while Martin puts the finishing touches on the new Coldplay album in London.

Oh, the problems of rich famous white people. Can't get a table fast enough at Nobu! Quelle horreur!

How do I loathe her? Let me count the ways...Just the name alone is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Gwyneth. Shudder! Spit! And why is she in the movie adaptation of such a great book? Why does God hate me?

I just bet they are able to keep this shambles of a marriage together for a while longer, because Little Miss Perfect won't want even the barest hint of failure attached to her detestable name. I've said it before (last night, in fact), and I'll say it again, many times: I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!

Oh, and I found out that the lady at the Oscars with the ginormous fake bazooms who was somehow related to Sidney Lumet was, in fact, his daughter and not his trophy wife. Page Six says, under the elegant headline "Breast of Buds":

Amy Lumet, the beautiful daughter of director Sidney Lumet, won't soon forget her encounter with Sharon Osbourne the other night as she arrived at the Beverly Hills Hotel for a dinner honoring Sidney. As Amy entered the hotel in a low-cut dress, Sharon, who has had quite a bit of plastic surgery herself, admired Amy's bosom. "Sharon told Amy she had the greatest [breasts] she'd ever seen," said a source.

See? They are quite startling! They show up on satellite imagery! And, jeez, when Sharon Osbourne notices and admires your cha-cha's, you know you're doing something, uh....right?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sidney Lumet's daughters are Lena Horne's grand-daughters, fyi.

"Former son-in-law of Lena Horne; was married to her daughter, the journalist and author Gail Lumet Buckley (nee Gail Jones).

Children Amy, Jenny."

from imdb