Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Michael Musto has some tantalizing tidbits in his "La Dulce Musto" column in The Village Voice--and they are all jam-packed into one tiny lil' paragraph! I shall try to discern the meaning of his words like a fortune-teller reading tea leaves:

"In other eyebrow-lifting news, Blondie legend DEBBIE HARRY is writing her tell-all—and I do mean all—memoirs, due next year. . . . More immediately, am I nutzoid or does NICOLE RICHIE look lighter? . . . And speaking of white stuff, what TV personality shoved more of it up her nose at Sundance than there was snow on the slopes? In fact her well-known hubby had to ask her to slow down the intake. I'm not agreeing, mind you, I'm just helping her tell her story."

OK. The first line is pretty self-evident--but still very exciting! I have high hopes that this will be a juicy backstage drugs-n-sexpose a la Please Kill Me! Debbie Harry has always seemed like a fun gal, especially as the frighteningly bewigged stagemom in "Hairspray" ("Faster! Faster! Mashed potatoes! Cha cha cha!"), and surely she has seen her share of dirt. Filthy, disgusting, dirt. Please dish it, Debbie! A girl can dream, can't she? Dreamin' is free, right?

Speaking of "high hopes," the next bit implies that Mr. Musto believes all those Nicole-Richie-is-a-junkie rumors that are flyin' around. Who knows if they are true or not, but I will say that she was on "The Howard Stern Show" recently and stepped on Howard's infamous hidden scale, which revealed that Ms. Richie weighs 97 pounds. Let me repeat that number: 97! I haven't weighed 97 pounds since birth--and I weighed approximatey 96 pounds 3 ounces upon delivery! (My mom is still rather bitter. But I digress.) Seriously, ya'll--97 pounds is what Mary Kate Olsen weighs (although that does include layer upon layer of homeless ragamuffin quilts, shawls, and leg warmers)!

The next part is a "blind item," but I have my own guess as to the answer. Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the sterling reputation of a "tv personality" (moi?), but the only I can think of who is married to a "well-known hubby" is former E! host Jules Asner, who is married to director Steven Soderbergh. If anyone can think of a more likely couple, please write in--the world wants answers!


Anonymous said...

What about Kelly Ripa (coked-up tv personality) and Mark Consuelos (concerned yet foxy hubby)? I added the "foxy" part myself. And are you sure Michael wasn't accusing Nicole Richie of bleaching her skin, a la Michael Jackson?

Terri R.

jennifer said...

Oh, I thought of that possiblitiy, ie, Nicole-lightening-up-her-skin, but decided the 'white stuff' referred to las drugas. But maybe it's both! Hotcha!