Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Gee, Johnny Knoxville really is a jackass! He's having a torrid fling with barely-legal alleged crazy coke 'ho Lindsay Lohan! The NY Post's Page Six reports the sordid details:

"Lindsay Lohan is having a better time in New Orleans than previously thought.

Lohan, 18, in Louisiana shooting 'Just My Luck,' has been having a ball with Johnny Knoxville, 33, who is in the Big Easy shooting 'Dukes of Hazzard.'

According to an Us Weekly spy, the two have been 'hooking up' for a couple of weeks.

Meanwhile, all the partying seems to have caught up with Lohan. The star had to get chest X-rays the other day, and took a day off shooting Monday due to a bad flu.

'Everyone on set is on antibiotics,' said her rep, who declined to comment on Knoxville."

Hmmm. I wonder if "everyone" is on antibiotics because of south-of-the-beltline type maladies? Johnny Knoxville's real name is P.J. Clapp, after all (for reals!). Far be it from me to cast stones, but the man is 15 years older, married, and has a nine-year-old daughter. Although it will be nice for little Madison to have a playmate named Lindsay, since there's only a nine year age difference between them, eh? Think of the fun they will have!

Oh. My. Frigging. God: I just realized that Lindsay Lohan was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras. The mind reels.

On a side note, how does one obtain the position of "Us Weekly spy," I wonder? Hmmm....

And from the Thanks For Confirming What We Already Assumed to Be True file, WENN reports:

"Liza Minnelli has confessed she had been drinking when she fell out of bed at Christmas and had to be hospitalized.

The 58-year-old singer was taken to a New York City hospital on 27 December after the fall left her semi-unconscious on the floor of her Big Apple home.

The Cabaret star, who has battled drinking problems in the past, insists she isn't going to let the mishap ruin her life and accepts it was just a bad day that caused her to relapse: 'I had a one-day slip. What to you do? You get up and you go on and you try not to do it again.'"

Oh, Liza. Liza, Liza, Liza! This is just one more teensy, tiny reason--amongst literally thousands--that we love you so very, very much.

Liza, with a Z, did you ever know that you're my hero?

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