Monday, January 31, 2005

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but God Bless Lara Flynn Boyle! A totally reliable and always-thorough British newspaper is reporting that Wee Lara B. performed a nude pill-poppin' freak show on a trans-Atlantic flight! Huzzah!


"Movie beauty LARA FLYNN BOYLE has been accused of stripping nude and trying to seduce a fellow passenger during a recent first-class flight to London.

Passengers claim the MEN IN BLACK 2 star started behaving strangely halfway through the ten-hour British Airways journey from Los Angeles to the capital's Heathrow Airport.

But they were stunned when she stripped off her clothes and tried to climb into the bed of a sleeping stranger, reports British newspaper THE MAIL ON SUNDAY.

Flynn Boyle's publicist SARAH CULLIVER says, 'It genuinely is completely inconsistent with her character and behaviour.'

A BRITISH AIRWAYS spokeswoman confirms, 'First-class passengers on board Flight BA 282 from Los Angeles to Heathrow reported that a female passenger in the cabin was behaving strangely.'

A shocked witness adds, 'People recognised she was Lara Flynn Boyle and saw her popping pills on board early in the flight.

'She was starkers, woke a passenger up, tried to get into bed with him, pulled open the blind and said, "We're landing, get your clothes on," even though we were more than four hours away from London.'"

Can you imagine the shock and horror of waking up on an airplane and seeing a naked Lara Flynn Boyle trying to get under the covers with you? I bet the passenger had to be sedated. He is calling his attorneys right now to sue British Airways for "cruel and unusual punishment." He probably felt like William Shatner on that episode of "The Twilight Zone" where he sees a goblin on the wing of an airplane. Although I would much rather see a monstrous, hideous goblin than a monstrous, hideous Boyle any day of the week. Note that her publicist didn't even deny the story! God, this is the kind of thing that makes me giddy with delight. This and the word "starkers." Wowee!

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