Thursday, January 06, 2005

I'm sure by now this is, like, such old news, ya'll, but I can't help but gleefully--nay, perhaps even giddily--passing on the fact that Ashlee Simspon was BOOED at her terrible live, non-lip-synching performance at the Orange Bowl. YIPPEE!! The words being bandied about to describe her singing run the gamut from "flat" to "screeching."

WENN reports that Ashlee "was left red-faced again during an awful live show Tuesday night.

Amid technical problems that saw fellow half-time show performers Kelly Clarkson and Trace Adkins struggle to hear themselves, Ashlee howled her way through hit single 'La La,' hitting bad note after bad note.

And fans of Orange Bowl finalists University Of Southern California and Oklahoma weren't shy about voicing their disapproval - and booed her loudly. The censors also clamped down on the singer, insisting she remove a sexually-charged "French maid" line in the song and replace it with 'lemonade'."

Hold the phone. She has a song about a French maid? Huh? Whaaa? I am OUTRAGED that my God-given right to hear Ashlee Simpson sing "sexually-charged" material was taken away from me by a totalitarian regime. And by the fact that I did not, actually, watch or listen to the Orange Bowl in any way, shape or form. If I had known that Ashlee Simpson was going to disgrace herself AGAIN in a live setting and humiliate herself in front of millions of people, I would have been at the local sports tavern, screamin' and whoopin' it up, drinking Jaegie shots and dumping bowls of popcorn on fellow sports' enthusiasts heads. Then the half-time show would've ended and I would've gone home.

In other non-news, Page Six is reporting that--gasp!-- Britney Spears' perfume "Eau de Red Bull" has roundly trounced the one put out by Paris Hilton, "Skank." Apparently the unwashed masses would much rather smell like Ms. Spears, and I can't say that I blame them. I mean, I am an unwashed mass and if given a choice between smelling like Barefoot in the Bathroom Brit or smelling like Paris the Crack Whore's Used Up Ole Coochie, I think I would opt for Essence de Federline. But that's just me.

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