Wednesday, January 12, 2005


"Thousands of tsunami victims have raised their voices in praise of Madonna, after she generously donated 10,000 bottles of kabbalah water to their cause.

'Methinks by far the best way one doth help the needy is nae merely by quenching their thirst for potable liquids, but also by quenching their thirst for Jewish mysticism,' the artist formerly known as 'The Material Girl' stated in an almost indecipherable faux British accent from her London manse.

The victims also received 10,000 DVDs of "Swept Away." Whether they wanted them or not. Mainly not.

One Sri Lankan survivor explained, 'It already stinks enough around here. Also, we felt the title was wildly inappropriate.'"

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