Friday, January 07, 2005

BREAKING NON-NEWS ALERT: Brad and Jen Are Splitsville For Reals--OMG, Ya'll!

Hurrah! The tabloids were RIGHT! It's a beautiful confirmation of everything that I hold dear to my heart!

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Ahh, yes. The holy, sacred marriage bond shall last 'till death do them part...

CNN is reporting that "after more than four years of marriage, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have decided to formally separate, according to the office of Aniston's publicist, Stephen Huvane.

People magazine, which first reported the split, quoted the couple as saying that 'this decision is the result of much thoughtful consideration,' and is not 'the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media.'

'We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another,' they said in their statement to People, which is owned by Time Warner, the parent company of CNN.com.

Their statement made no mention of a divorce."

Yah, and it made no mention of Brad's canoodling with Angelina Jolie or Jen's being the only woman on earth besides your humble Felt Up blogette and most (though certainly not ALL) lesbians who does not want to carry the fruit of Brad Pitt's loins in her belly. MORE SALACIOUS DETAILS HOPEFULLY FORTHCOMING!!!

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Is everyone who ordered the Pitt/Anniston Eternity Band going to want a refund? WE SHALL SEE!

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