Monday, December 13, 2004

Speaking of the wondrous joys of Christmas, another story from the "Why Doesn't Someone Pay For Me To Go To London" file:

"A protester has attacked a controversial waxwork Nativity scene featuring England soccer captain David Beckham as Joseph and his pop star wife "Posh Spice" Victoria as the Virgin Mary.

'He pushed Posh and Becks over. It caused some damage but we don't know how much. The baby Jesus is fine,' said a spokeswoman for Madame Tussaud's waxwork museum in London on Monday.

Anglicans, Catholics and Presbyterians have united in calling the exhibit a new low in the cult of celebrity worship.

But Madame Tussaud's said it was popular with the public, who were outraged at Sunday's vandalism.

'People were appalled. We had members of the public complaining that the Nativity was the only reason they were coming in today,' the spokeswoman said.

'Staff gave chase but the attacker managed to escape. We are hoping to reopen the exhibit as soon as possible.'

Controversy over the nativity has caused great mirth in British media. The Sun newspaper even instituted a dial-in line on Monday for anyone who might be able to identify the attacker.

In the wax tableau, Australian pop star Kylie Minogue hovers above the crib as an angel while Victoria lays her shawled head tenderly on Beckham's shoulder.

Tony Blair, George W. Bush and the Duke of Edinburgh star as The Three Wise Men. The shepherds are played by Hollywood star Samuel L. Jackson, British actor Hugh Grant and camp Irish comedian Graham Norton."--CNN

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Can you IMAGINE something like that in the US? Madame Toussaud's would be raided by Justice Department blackshirts as the last official act of John Ashscroft; the wax figures would be firebombed and anyone who had ever even LOOKED at the things would be expelled from the country. And everyone would be all, "Who the hell are Posh and Becks?" too. Infidels and phillistines all!

I could do without the George Bush, Tony Blair and Duke of Edinburgh Wise Men (I suppose it's all part of that famous English sense of sarcasm), but Kylie as an angel (!) and Graham Norton as a shephard are genius.

Posh and Becks are truly religious icons in most parts of the world, though, so that's not even all that funny.

OK, yes it is.

This is off subject a little, but I would like to say here that I used to think until quite recently that the first line in the Christmas carol about the nativity started out: "We three kings of Orientar..."--like they were the kings of a distant, exotic land named Orientar. Made sense at the time (ie, most of my life). I'm not that good at geography. Or caroling. It's a cute story, though, right?

Right?