Felt Up

Oooh, now THIS is good: A production assistant on Nick and Jessica's Christmas Special has sent a juicy e-mail to the geniuses over at Gawker.com, and there are tons of great observations about the Newlyweds' (non)interaction; the realness of Jessica's boobs; her biatch-y diva tendencies; and best of all, this quote from Nick, who, when asked to say something nice about his wife, said:

" 'How about she was the best stocking I ever stuffed?' He then proceeded to say, 'She was the best chimney I've ever come down on.'"

AWEsome! Note use of past tense. Who cares if it's true or not? To read the full e-mail in all its glory, go:

HERE!