Wednesday, December 08, 2004


From CNN:

"Joan And Melissa Rivers Coming Back"

"Joan and Melissa Rivers are returning to red carpet duty starting with next month's Golden Globes, a job they were shut out of during this year's Emmy Awards because of a contractual tangle.

The mother-daughter tandem say they are more than ready to dish it out to the stars.

'I think it will be notched up just because the energy is going to be so amazing,' Joan Rivers said on Tuesday. She missed covering this year's Emmy Awards when she and her daughter jumped from E! Entertainment Television to TV Guide Channel.

Will Hollywood's stars be more carefully dressed knowing they'll again be facing the sharp-tongued Rivers women?

'They better be,' Melissa Rivers said."

AAAAAAAAAAAH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Actually, that won't help. With something as all-encompassing as Judgment Day on nigh, you can't run. You can't hide. You might as well go on a never-ending champagne-and-caviar-swilling trampage until the frogs start raining down and the Leviathan washes up on the shore of a blood-red sea. Which will happen soon after the Emmy Awards, according to The Book of Revelations: "And the Death's Head shall greet The Daughter of a Slain Idol on the Crimson Path and shall speak the name of a Child of the Far East, and thus shall begin the End of Man." In other words, right after Joan Rivers asks Mariska Hargitay if she's wearing Vera Wang. It's all in there, people! Read it and weep!