Wednesday, December 08, 2004

ANOTHER SIGN THAT THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH:

From WENN:

"Pop punk Pink will expose her innermost thoughts and feelings in a big screen adaptation of her private diary.

The singer wants to tell her own story, following the decision to postpone a planned biopic of sixties icon Janis Joplin, starring Pink in the lead role.

Pink - whose acting experience is limited to a cameo role in Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle - says, "I plan to write a film script based on them. They are shocking, inspiring and, above all, true to my heart."


She plans to call the movie The Diary of Pink."

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We're going to hell in a handbasket. I am totally and completely serious, ya'll. All of us who live in a world where THIS could happen--we are The Damned. We are all guilty, because none of us are going to do anything to stop this abomination. Eternal damnation--'tis our fate. Thanks a lot, Pink.

In other WENN News of the Ludicrous, Madonna was shocked--SHOCKED--to discover her manager was having an affair with one of her bodyguards and fired her because of it:

"Madonna's devotion to the Kabbalah was behind her decision to fire her long-term manager Caresse Henry, after discovering Henry was having an affair with a bodyguard.

The "Like A Virgin" singer was reportedly shocked that Henry, who had also converted to the mystical offshoot of Judaism, had broken one of the religion's strictest teachings - faithfulness.

Henry had a partner back in America, while security man Ricky Dallanegra lived with his girlfriend in London. They have since become a couple after leaving their respective partners.

Madonna sought the advice of her rabbi on the matter when she learned of the romance during this summer's Re-invention tour, before deciding to follow the Kabbalah practices and disown Henry.

An insider tells British newspaper The Sun, 'Madonna and Guy are deeply committed to their Kabbalah faith which preaches monogamy and faithfulness. It's ironic, because Madonna used to eat men for breakfast. Now's she's a married mother and Kabbalist, she believes cheating is a serious sin.'

'When she found out her manager was having an affair with her own bodyguard she was devastated. Madonna had a huge falling out with Caresse and said she couldn't possibly work with her any more.' "

Excuse me while I take a minute to puke my guts out. UGH! I HATE MADONNA! This holier-than-thou school marm attitude is almost as preposterous as her British accent. I heard her on "Fresh Air" the other day and I almost crashed my car in a furious rage over her berating Terri Gross for asking her if she had, indeed, converted to Judaism. Saint Madonna went on and on in her preachy, high-handed tone about how much she hated ALL religions, how the Kabbalah "predated" religion, blah blah blah. BLEH! OK, we get it. She did not become a Jew. She only wants to dilly dally around with a mystical Jewish cult. Fine. Whatever. But she has a rabbi she consults? She fires longtime associates over a measly affair--when apparently there were not even any spouses involved? I want to get the "Erotica" book, tear out the picture of her having a three-way with Big Daddy Kane and VANILLA ICE--oh, Big Daddy Kane, wherefore art thou? but I digress--and throw it in her haggard under-fed ancient face. Fun, good-times Whore of Babylon-era Madonna could be hard to take at times, but nothing like THIS. She should quit the entertainment industry altogether, a la Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam, and SHUT THE HELL UP.

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