Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Time for poll results! For a long time, the teen star most likely to end up in a home-made porno tape was far and away Miss Lindsay Lohan--she had almost ALL of the votes!--and she still wins, BIG, but with only 57%, due to the last-minute showing of Ashlee "Acid Reflux" Simpson, with a strong 24%. Third place went to Mary-Kate Olsen; Ashley "The Fat One" Olsen and Anne Hathaway tied for fourth; and Hillary Duff has apparently fooled you all into believing her Little Miss Goody-Goody image, because she came in dead last with NO votes at all.

In honor of my Kirstie Alley/Star Magazine hissy fit in the last post, the new poll is: Who would you most like to have "fat sex" with? Poll is on the lower left, as usual. Sadly, there are not as many fat celebrities as there used to be--James Coco, Marlon Brando, Mama Cass, Chris Farley, Fatty Arbuckle, Zero Mostel, Kate Smith--all dead; Carnie Wilson, Al Roker, Ricki Lake--all gastric-bypassed. Tragic! A moment of silence for our fallen heroes. OK, now go vote...

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