Thursday, November 18, 2004

The poll results are in, and the celebrity it would be the biggest nightmare to be shackled to for the rest of your life is...CARROT TOP IN A LANDSLIDE! He was far and away the least-wanted husband, at 57% of the vote. Apparently, the ladies really, REALLY don't want to be married to comedians, as Robin Williams came in second place, with 17%. Dudes said ixnay to Paris "P. Hole" Hilton, with 9%, and the rest of the contenders--Jessica Simpson, Corey Feldman, Kevin Federline, and Joan Rivers--all tied for last place with 4% each.

I can't believe more people didn't choose Corey Feldman--did ANYONE see his season of "The Surreal Life?" He was a jackass and an incredibly annoying BABY!! Every single one of his housemates--from Vince Neil to the guy who played Webster--hated his guts. He was a pompous, sanctimonious vegetarian who lectured everyone on their food choices and got married in a puffy shirt/velvet breeches Renaissance Faire outfit--ON THE SHOW--when no one else was in costume. I'm just sayin' I might actually pick Carrot Top over THAT. At least Carrot Top has a job. Well, at least I can console myself that more people would rather be married to Joan Rivers than Paris "P. Hole" Hilton.

The new poll may seem a little distasteful in these rigidly conservative days, but who cares? It could be Armageddon soon! Consider this important question: Which teen star is the most likely to end up in a home-made porno tape? As always, the poll is on the lower left, get to it!

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