Tuesday, November 02, 2004

OK. I said in my last post that it would take a Liza-caliber story to pull me away from election coverage, but then I saw THIS in Page Six:

"Kirstie Alley once had her publicist wet-nurse her baby possum, according to the December issue of Vanity Fair...The possum story, told by...former editor Joanna Molloy, is hard to top.

'I got a call one day from somebody out in L.A. who said, "You're never going to believe this, but I was at an event where Kirstie Alley brought her baby pet possum, and she was walking around with this thing, and all of a sudden it starts to go squeak, squeak, squeak. And Kirstie Alley goes, 'Oooh, ooh, baby, baby. Mommy's here.' And she turned to a publicist and said, 'Say, aren't you nursing a baby right now?' "

The publicist, afraid of the possum's teeth, ended up expressing her breast milk into a bottle, which Alley then fed to the animal.

Molloy recalls, 'And I called up the woman herself — I was like, OK, they're going to laugh me off both coasts, but no story is too crazy to check — and she said, "The answer is yes. I did it and, you know what, I'm proud of it." '"

SEE? I'M ONLY HUMAN! I AM NOT MADE OF STONE! I AM BUT FLESH AND BLOOD, JUST LIKE A VERY LARGE POSSUM! And after reading today that the Ohio Repubicans get to send goon squads to intimidate black voters AFTER ALL, I needed some sweet relief, a little divertisement...And boy, did I get some! I think that may be the single greatest thing I have ever read. First of all, it's just totally awesome in every single way. Secondly, the lady who fed Kirstie Alley's possum her breast milk is PROUD of this fact and is willing to proclaim said pride to the world. If you'd read something like this in a novel, you'd think "Oh, that's a bit MUCH." But you would be WRONG. Hooray for HOLLYWOOD!

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