Tuesday, November 16, 2004

OK, maybe God likes me a little bit after all...from Page Six, we have a veritable cavalcade of my favorite kinds of gossip: mall beatings, drunk girl fighting, and gay husbands!

Up first: The Hideous Troll-Doll Gotti Boys Get A Smack-Down!

"VIictoria Gotti's sons Carmine, 18, and John, 17, took a beating last weekend after they allegedly harassed a 15-year-old girl at a Long Island mall.

The 17-year-old brother of the aggrieved girl delivered a beat-down to the Gotti boys after they "pinched her butt and made disgusting comments" at the Roosevelt Field Mall on Saturday, says our source.

The enraged brother and two of his friends approached the Gottis and their 10-person crew after his sister complained about their boorish behavior.

'Next thing you know this kid was really beating the c- -p out of Carmine,' a witness to the melee told PAGE SIX. 'All the Gotti friends were taking cheap shots, punching and kicking the back of this kid's head, but he didn't care. He just continued to beat Carmine till he was bloody, and then he went after John and whupped him, too.'...

Mall security guards and police broke up the fracas, but no charges have been filed. Our source claimed that mall security had received "several complaints" about the Gottis' behavior prior to the fight from fed-up store owners and shoppers.

'One security guard said they got a complaint from the mother of a 12-year-old girl the Gottis and their friends had harassed,' another witness said.

The youth who beat up the Gottis 'was like 5-foot-10,' not that big. Their grandfather [John Gotti] would be rolling over in his grave if he saw that. They not only fought like cowards, they're a bunch of wimps.'"

Hee hee! I hope they don't find a certain 17-year-old boy sleeping with the fishes anytime soon. And can I just repeat ONE MORE TIME that Victoria Gotti's sons last name is NOT GOTTI!!!

In other delightful non-news, Bijou Phillips lives up to her reputation by bustin' out her lethal purse and swingin' away in a drunken rage at a party. Yee hah!

"Hollywood hellcat Bijou Phillips is at it again. We're told security guards at the Teen People party at the Key Club in L.A. Sunday night carried Phillips out of the bash in a "bear hug" after she swung her purse at the magazine's music editor, Zena Burns.

Phillips flipped out after she left the VIP room and was not allowed back in. She cursed at the guards and belted Burns with her bag when she tried to intervene.

'Zena was trying to calm her down, but Bijou was in such a frenzy that she said, '[Bleep] you, too!' and swung her purse at her,' says our spy. A flack for Phillips did not return calls."

What I love most about Bijou, and there's a LOT to love, is that she is one of those semi-famous people who are semi-famous for no discernable reason, like Paris "P. Hole" Hilton. Sure, her father was Papa John Phillips, and she's done a lil' modeling, but other than that she is mainly famous for a) partying, b) getting really dizrunk/high at parties, and c) going to parties with Tara Reid. I kind of admire that in a girl. Also, I love that we live in a world where someone named "Zena" gets whacked in the head by someone named "Bijou."

And finally, we have this piece of froth about the new Mr. Star Jones, the possibly-gay Al Reynolds, who apparently had a HUMDINGER of a pre-wedding party this weekend:

"On Friday, [Reynolds] held his "Roman Baths"-themed bachelor party at the Time Hotel.

'It was so uncomfortable,' said our spy. 'You had to sign a confidentiality agreement to get in and then you were sent to the penthouse, where they made you get naked.'

All clothes were put into plastic bags on the floor and the 60 men were given bathrobes to put on.

'We sat basically naked in a freezing room for a couple of hours,' says an attendee. 'There were only two bars and they were sponsored by Hypnotiq, Remy and some awful beer. At 11:50 p.m., 10 topless girls came out. They were butt-ugly except for two of them who simulated lesbian sex on the bed. Ten people left immediately — it was very uncomfortable.'

Jones' rep declined comment."

Ha ha! I love that Al felt the need to prove his heterosexuality by making his all-male nude buddies watch a female sex show. AND that said show had corporate sponsors! Me and Mrs....Mrs. Jones...Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones. We got a thiiiiing goin' on...INDEED.


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