Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Not much non-news today, I'm afraid. Controversy continues to RAGE over Mary-Kate Olsen possbily dropping out of NYU and returning to LA faster than a "New York Minute"--no one seems to know if she's "taking care of personal business" or "puttin'on the red ana pride bracelet again." Is she coming back to school? Does anyone really care? Only time will tell. The fat one is apparently thrilled to be rid of the skinny one, though. She's GOTTA be one tiny, Munchkin-sized pain in the ass.

Speaking of fat, the IMDB reports that:

"Britney Spears has reportedly used a two-year-old photograph on the cover of her new greatest hits album - because she's unhappy with the way she looks now. According to sources, Spears' head was airbrushed over an old body shot for the front of her Greatest Hits: My Prerogative CD."

Hee hee!

And finally, Carlson Tucker of "Crossfire" simply WILL NOT drop the whole Jon-Stewart-made-a-fool-of-me-on-my-own-show debacle. He actually called up Richard "Dick" Johnson to rant SOME MORE, four whole days later:

"CNN's Tucker Carlson is still swatting at "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart in the wake of their angry on-air clash on "Crossfire" Friday night.

The conservative commentator yesterday described Stewart's behavior as "bizarre" on the program — during which a stone-cold serious Stewart bashed "Crossfire," called Carlson a "d- -k" and made fun of his trademark bow tie.

What's more, Stewart stayed an hour and a half after taping ended to continue haranguing Carlson and co-host Paul Begala. Eventually, a CNN director said Stewart had to leave the set, which was to be used for a taping of "Anderson Cooper 360."

After the show was over, "I gave him my cellphone and said, 'Call me any time when you wanna talk about how evil we are,' " Carlson told PAGE SIX. "But then he was waiting back in the green room. He was sitting back there telling us how we were destroying civic life in this country and how bad we are. I had dinner reservations so I finally split, but he stayed there lecturing Begala and our producers.

"It was like a really bad freshman survey course," Carlson fumed. "Just one long lecture. Not a single joke was told. People just don't want to be who they are. Every actor wants to be a director. It's not good enough for Barbra Streisand to star in 'Yentl.' She has to be a foreign policy expert, too."

Carlson continued, "We've had a lot of hostile guests, but calling me a d- -k or making fun of my bow tie is not gonna rattle my cage. It's not like I haven't heard that before. I would think he would have had something more clever to say."

The trouble started on Friday's show when Stewart accused Carlson and Begala of "partisan hackery" and declared: "You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably."

Carlson fired back, "You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think." "You need to go to one," Stewart retorted.

Carlson complained that, for a comedian, Stewart wasn't being very funny. "Come on," he said. "Be funny." "No," Stewart snapped. "I'm not going to be your monkey."

Carlson chided Stewart — who recently said he will vote for John Kerry — for lobbing softball questions when the Democrat appeared on "The Daily Show" last month. Later, when Carlson told Stewart he was "more fun" on his Comedy Central show, Stewart retorted that Carlson was 'just as big of a d- -k" on 'Crossfire.'"

Wow, Carlson Tucker is not only a dick, but a dufus, a turd, a sore loser, a nincompoop, a jackass, AND a crybaby. Dude, you need to let this GO. The more you try and trash talk Jon Stewart, the more they will quote what he said, which IS ALL TRUE AND MAKES YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. Shut your fat face and maybe this will all go away. I, for one, am really glad and grateful that Jon Stewart did what he did--and does what he does. He is a national treasure and my personal hero and I want to fly to NY and steal him away from his wife and child and have my own tiny, tiny kids with him. Actually, with the entire "Daily Show" cast. Including Samantha Bee.


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