Friday, October 29, 2004

Just got the new Star, and of course, as promised, the cover screams: "Jessica Simpson's Husband Caught in CHEATING SCANDAL!" No new info, though, except that the bachelor party where all the action went down (as it were) started off at Hooters, naturellement. Also, the porn star and stripper began their live sex show at a nightclub, Nacional, before moving to the relative privacy of a sleazy L.A. music executive's home. Said music dude is shown in a side picture with Paris "P. Hole" Hilton and wearing an ultra-classy "got hos?" t-shirt. Well done, sir. A trifecta!

In other old non-news, Star does an in-depth investigation into the very lavish, totally free wedding of Star "Bridezilla" Jones. Her betrothed, Al Reynolds, was reportedly seen cavorting in a Speedo at a gay bar in NYC recently, according to Page Six, but Star Magazine doesn't go there, for some unknown reason. They DO dish some interesting details about the upcoming sacred, holy nuptials, however. Such as: Jones sent wedding ettiquette guides to her guests, which pissed them off no end. One guest griped, "Imagine getting a brouchure in the mail telling you how to dress, how to arrive and how to behave!" IMAGINE! Star Mag. quotes another guest saying that Star Jones is basically just tacky, because she "wants everyone to wear white to her wedding--the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, and the guests. Everyone knows only the bride wears white to a wedding!" Star Mag. crows that Star Jones will have a 125-foot train on her wedding gown (hee hee!) and has a $10,500 Tiffany tray on her bridal registry. As Molly Shannon's "joyologist" used to say on SNL--I LOVE IT! I love it, love it, love it, LOVE it!! (Legs kicking up in the air.) I LOVE IT!