Tuesday, October 12, 2004

I love, love, LOVE it when celebs lash out at each other in print! Roseanne is on a rampage, AGAIN, this time about Dr. Phil! I'm not a huge Roseanne fan (although I did enjoy the first few seasons of her sit-com), but now that she's gone on this anti-Dr. Phil rant, I'm beginning to like her more and more! Just check out the sublime beauty of this headline from Page Six:

"ROSEANNE: 'DR. PHIL IS HITLER'"

Here's more:

"Roseanne has nothing but bile for tubby TV talkmeister Dr. Phil: 'I want to go on record and say that I hate Dr. Phil and I would fight a grudge match with him if I were a wrestler,' she rants to Chaunce Hayden's Steppin' Out magazine. 'Dr. Phil is just a used car salesman with barnyard psychology. Once he turns off those cameras, nobody does anything that he says. He's a fat slob talking about how to lose weight. Who wants to hear that? . . . I just hate Dr. Phil and his wife! I shouldn't go off like this, but he's just so stupid and the cause of the dumbing down of America. It's so purely evident if you just watch five minutes of this guy. He's just a huckster used car salesman, scam artist . . . I'd like to knock the [bleep] out of him! Dr. Phil is Hitler! I think he's Hitler reincarnated! When Dr. Phil and his wife had President Bush and his wife on their show, it was probably the scariest thing ever seen on television.' Roseanne also ruminates on turning 50: 'I do miss PMS — it was the only time of the month I could be myself.'"

OK, that last line I could have done without. TOO MUCH INFORMATION, ROSEANNE! But the rest is awesome! I saw clips of the Bush interview with Dr. Phil on "The Daily Show," and Roseanne is right--they were really, really scary! I don't know if, in fact, Dr. Phil IS the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, but he certainly seems like some kind of evil mind-controller who is lulling the populace with his "down-home," totally insane advice. Lose weight? Get healthy, mentally and physically? He's a MADMAN! He must be stopped!

By the way, there's that Steppin' Out magazine again. What is it with the Joe Jackson fans? They get their own magazine now? Are they taking over the world, like Dr. Phil?

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This is SO adorable! Richard "Dick" Johnson reportst that:

"Morrissey cut his show short at Radio City Music Hall Sunday night after a security man roughed up a fan. The Maestro of Mope was in the middle of an encore — "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out" — when a spectator jumped onstage and was immediately tackled by a bouncer. "Boo to the bouncers!" Morrissey urged, as he leaned into the crowd and shook the fan's hand, reports The Post's Mary Huhn. The cult crooner — who gave shout-outs to his "friend" Nancy Sinatra and joked that he was gathering signatures for a "Jon Stewart for president" petition — left the stage right after the bouncer's buzz-kill, sending his delirious followers back into their usual state of gloom."

Morrissey loves his fans--AND Jon Stewart! He should totally go on "The Daily Show!" Terri R. and I would pee our pants! Ricky M. would need sedation.

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One of Mozzer's delirious followers. God, I love the internet!

Speaking of Terri R., we entered new realms of geekdom last night by putting our names down for today's release of the "That's Entertainment!" DVD box set. We are going to be co-owners, and we are already working out the schedule if our friendship should ever end. I would get vol. 1 and 4 on mon, wed, and friday. She would get 2 and 3 on tues, thurs. Then we'd switch. I think that's fair.

I am determined to teach myself tap dancing! I'm bringing back vaudeville-style song and dance--to my living room!

"Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown!"



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