Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Hey, this is my 250th post! I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible, I woudn't be where I am today without YOU! And a big shout out to the Supreme Being, of course. God Almighty. The Man Upstairs. Because, you know, without Mel Gibson in my life, all of this fame and success would have NO MEANING. (I keed, I keed. Is this mic on? Try the veal!)

Got the new Star today, and IT IS A DELIGHT! The cover is: "Hollywood Hair Disasters--They're Really, REALLY BAD" and there are (admittedly quite old) pictures of Cybil Shepard, Melanie Griffith, and Paris Hilton. Hurrah!

Inside, the article is artfully retitled "Hollywood Hairstyria!" and they add Howard Stern, Meg Ryan, Kelly Osbourne, William Baldwin, and Alan Cumming to the list of hair-don'ts. Then the next page has the celebs grouped by bad hairstyles. The Stragglers: Renee Zellweger, Julia Roberts, and Britney Spears. The Bang-Up Jobs (Bad Bangs): Elton John (naturellement), Matt "I'm Not Gay" LeBlanc, and Anthony Kiedis ("he looks like Little Lord Fauntleroy"--meow!). Big & Bad: Diana Ross, Kate Beckinsale, and Macy Gray (but of course.) Crazy Comb-overs: Sam Donaldson, Ted Koppel, and Donald Trump. Losing It!: Ted Danson (yawn! he's been bald FOREVER), Matt Lauer, Mel Gibson, Nicolas Cage (AKA Friar Tuck), Prince William (!), and poor Brendan Fraser who looks TERRIBLE!

Then Star outdoes itself with a snarky pictorial called "Seeing Double--Chins, That Is!" They put together a top-notch spread of unflattering photos of celebs--mainly from underneath, showcasing fleeting double chins. Helpfully, Star added little numbers by each chin to help the reader keep track. Featured are: Britney Spears ("Too many Cheetos equals too many chins"), Faith Hill (they are totally grasping at straws, she looks great), Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt (!), Kathie Lee Gifford (they accuse her of having "chin paunch"--hee hee!), Ashley Judd (they must have gone through thousands of pics to find this one), and Calista Flockhart ("Even this skinny-Minnie has some sags!"). Oh, Star. I heart you THIS MUCH!!!

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