Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Sorry the non-news is coming in slowly today, but I had actual work to do. You know, at my job. Anyhoo, here's some prime tidbits from Richard "Dick" Johnson. First up, Anna Wintour is afraid some of the hoi polloi who SURROUND her whenever she ventures out amongst the little people might become impertinent, by, like, talking to her or something equally hideous, so she has taken steps to keep them at bay:

"Is Vogue editrix Anna Wintour super-paranoid these days? Insiders say she has three burly ex-Navy SEALs bodyguarding her during Fashion Week, and some speculate it's to protect against animal-rights zealots People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and other groups that have targeted the fur-loving fashionista in the past. 'Anna has anointed herself as a common pimp for one of the most violent industries on the planet,' huffs PETA's Dan Mathews. 'It's no wonder she keeps looking over her shoulder. Even people at her own magazine are upset about it.' Wintour's rep insists she's always had security at the shows and says it's not because of PETA, but rather to curb the 'overwhelming' amount of attention she gets from autograph-seekers and photographers."

Yes, I'm sure Anna Wintour is OVERWHELMED by grasping, autograph-seeking peasants, but I have another theory after viewing this picture:

(picture has been taken down)

I think she needs Navy SEALS to help keep her ginormous head from lolling off her skeletal "body."

In the happy world of sacred, holy matrimoy, we have this item, about everyone's favorite May/December quickie Vegas newlyweds Nicky Hilton and Todd Meister:

"Nicky Hilton and new hubby, Todd Meister, keep clashing with customers at their favorite hangout, Bungalow 8. On Saturday night, Todd got into a 'nose-to-nose' argument with a guy named Will, who was chatting up Nicky at the bar. Making matters even more awkward, Nicky refused to leave with Todd, telling him, 'Just go home!' and instead left with her pal Will. Todd, meanwhile, boozed it up solo for another half hour before stumbling out the door, claims our spywitness. Last Wednesday night, a peeved partygoer threw a vodka cocktail on Nicky and Todd at the hotspot for no apparent reason."

HA HA HA! I LOVE that this ultra-exclusive enclave (gag!) is teeming with Page Six spies. AND that the match made in heaven is already on the rocks. AND that someone threw a drink on Nicky for "no apparent reason," which, if by "no apparent reason" you mean "because Nicky Hilton is a brainless twit who is famous only for being rich and designing horrible handbags," then, yes, I guess that's true.

And, finally, a little teensy tiny bit of bitter bile from tween sensation and all-around annoying goodie-goodie Hillary Duff:

"Teen star Hilary Duff has finally opened up about her hate-fest with wild child Lindsay Lohan. 'The thing is, it's all so childish and immature,' Duff dishes in Blender magazine. 'This all started because we both dated Aaron Carter, and she went around telling everybody that I was a horrible person who had stolen her boyfriend. She then got pissed off because I worked with Chad Michael Murray [on 'Cinderella'] after she had worked with him on 'Freaky Friday.' She called him up and said all these awful things about me, which she then repeated to the press. I don't think I can take it anymore. It's so hurtful. Sometimes I feel like I really hate her, which is pretty extreme for me, because I don't hate anybody . . . She's always trying to spread stories about me, but the funny thing is, I know so many stories about her that I could tell you right now, but I'm not going to, because I don't think people should know. I don't want her to get mad at me for telling them. And you know what the funny thing is in all this? I just want us to be friends — that's all.' Riiiiight."

Oh, for god's sake, Duff Girl, don't be such a tease! Tell us EXACTLY what you know about the far-more-interesting skank-in-training Lindsay Lohan! No one cares about you. And stop being such a ninny. Oh, boo hoo, Lindsay's mean, and you can't take it anymore? Hillary, where is your spine? Do you even have one? You make me sick!

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