Monday, September 20, 2004

I haven't seen the new "Surreal Life," YET, but I had heard from obsessive viewers like Gil C. that besides former New Kid on the Blockhead Jordan Knight's angry has-been jerk routine (a la Vanilla Ice and Cory Feldman from the last two seasons), the real must-see tv was the tender sweet love blossoming between near-constantly drunk Brigitte Nielsen and everyone's favorite clock-wearing member of Public Enemy, Flava Flav. Well, I guess the bigwigs at VH1 realized they had televisual GOLD on their hands, so they are spinning off a whole show with Ms. Nielsen and Mr. Flav, according to Richard "Dick" Johnson:

"Brigitte Nielsen seems torn between her "Surreal Life" castmate Flavor Flav and her new fiancé, 25-year-old Italian bartender Mattia Disse.

The statuesque "Red Sonja" star, 41, enjoyed an on-camera fling with the wacky Public Enemy rapper during the VH1 series, but got engaged to Disse shortly after filming.

Now, she's set to film another reality TV show for VH1 in which she'll criss-cross the country with Flav before arriving in Las Vegas, at which point, she says, both Flav and Disse will vie for her affections.

"They're both gonna ask me to marry them, that's what I think," said Nielsen, who is in the midst of a divorce from her last husband, race car driver Raoul Mayer.

"We're starting the next show on Oct. 4, Mr. F. and myself. We're just going to be hanging out. He's going to pick me up in Italy. We're going to his mom's. Then we're off to Los Angeles for two days and then we go to Vegas."

And what does Nielsen's fiancé think of all this? "He's cool with it," she said, "but he's going to be watching us. I'm really in love with him, and I adore Flav. I don't know how to explain it. I'm a wild person!"

That's for sure. Our spy recently spotted Nielsen and her new fiancé shopping at the Pink Pussycat sex shop in the West Village, where we're told Nielsen bought six vibrators and asked directions to the nearest S&M club."

Aw, those crazy kids! Young turks in love! Will a cruel world, not to mention jealous 25 year-old fiance, come between these two lovebirds? Are they star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet? Can their precious love survive? And most importantly of all: Will I have cable soon?

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