Thursday, September 02, 2004

All the non-news stories today are either terrribly depressing (Kobe Bryant case dismissed) or too boring (P. Diddy's Citizen Change is not raising any money--yawn) to go into here. BUT, I do have a link to the latest WOW "Interview with a Felon," part of the series of phone conversations between Party Monster Michael Alig and his former club kid cohort James St. James. Alig is serving time in prison for the murder of another club kid named "Angel," and he spends most of these calls describing life in the slammer to an enthralled St. James. I've talked about this before but it bears repeating...Here's a sampling:

"Michael: OK – in the visiting room or just in general, when they suspect you of having drugs inside of you, because that’s how a lot of people get drugs in here, they swallow them in the visiting room or shove it up their butt.

James: That’s hot.

Michael: I know."

You can see how entertaining this could be. EVERYTHING is "hot" to these delightful boys. This is number five in the series, and is the grossest one so far (if you are afraid of poo, don't read it), but it's worth it to go through the archives and read the other four, because they are so fun. Who knew prison stories could be charming?

WOW (World of Wonder) are the fabulous creative geniuses behind "The Eyes of Tammy Faye," "Totally Gay," "Totaly Gayer," "Showbiz Moms and Dads," and naturellement, "Party Monster: The Shockumentary," and the whole site is a treat, filled with gossip, humor, silly interviews, and gay, gay, gayness! Check it out:

  • HERE!

  • Bob 103.5 FM is playing "I'm All Right" by Kenny Loggins. Note to self: Look for an update on Rodney Dangerfield's health. Also, stop listening to Bob.

    Last night Terri R. and I watched the British version of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," and we both decided that contrary to the laws of physics and nature, it somehow manages to be five zillion times gayer than our beloved original. And not in a particularly good way. The hosts have moved beyond gay and are pretty much just a bunch of women. They don't have any of the hard-edged charm of OUR boys, and the decorator is NO THOM, and of course there simply is no one alive who can fill Carson's cuban heeled shoes or have Kyan's obsession with all things Product, or be as odd and offbeat as Ted, although Jai is pretty easy to replace, I must say. It is odd to hear the same theme song playing over these imposters' faces and to hear them referred to as "The Fab Five." However, one of them got into his tighty-whiteys to clean the shower, which was nice. They cried way more, too, which is adorable. So there are SOME mitigating factors, including the Carson guy taking his weiner dog along on his shopping sprees (we are not ever going to learn their actual names, they will be "Carson Guy" and "Fake Thom" forever). The worst part is that the second half of the show comes on at the same time as "Reno 911!," so we flipped back and forth between them, long enough to see a bunch of Civil War Re-Enactment people all dressed up in hoop skirts and Robert E. Lee uniforms fight at a pizza parlor, with black/liberal Sgt. Jones defending the North and racist/conservative Sgt. Garcia defending the South and then Jones and Garcia getting into a fistfight, biting each other and crashing into the salad bar. Funny, funny, FUNNY! Also Clemmy was showing off the minatour tattoo on her boob right when Bush's motorcade went by, so she flashed the president. AWESOME. Then back to the Faux Fab Five, who were sobbing into their champers over their makeover guy's proposal to his girlfriend in their African-themed backyard "love nest." Sigh. It's like "Sophie's Choice!" How can we choose? Luckily there is such a thing as "re-runs," but STILL.

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