Thursday, August 05, 2004

Our long national nightmare is finally over: Tigger was acquitted! I woke up to find an email from Terri R. in my virtual mailbox with a link to the story at CNN.com. David Chartrand, AKA Tigger, was found not guilty of fondling the breasts of a thirteen-year-old girl while their picture was being taken at DisneyWorld. The jury deliberated for less than an hour:

"Outside court, Chartrand, a native of England who lost his fiance and had been suspended without pay after his arrest, said he'd like his job back, but that the experience 'has ruined my dream to be a character.'"

My heart goes out to the guy. Here he is, a pale Brit in a foreign land, with one dream, a dream shared by so many young men: To Be A Character At DisneyWorld. He achieves his dream, gets to put on the hallowed furry costume each day, only to see it shatter beneath his large, clumsy paws. He loses his fiance, his freedom, and now, his dream is over.

OK. At this point in the report I have to (further) supress the PLAGUE of giggles that has befallen me since I first heard about this trial:

"During closing arguments earlier Wednesday, a defense attorney donned a Tigger costume in the courtroom in an effort to show jurors how difficult it is to maneuver and see in the outfit.

Defense attorney Jeffrey Kaufman -- who also moonlights as Tigger and Goofy at Walt Disney World -- first strapped on Tigger's tail and then put on a neck cloth, the enormous orange-and-black striped head, and two large orange mitts to show jurors how the costume limits peripheral vision and arm movements."

Yes, that's right: TIGGER'S ATTORNEY IS ALSO A TIGGER! AND A GOOFY! Only in Florida. It's like something out of a Carl Hiassen novel. If you'd like to see a photo of Tigger's lawyer Tigger showing off his Tigger paws to the court, go to the bottom of the page:

  • HERE!
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