Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Have I mentioned my love of "The Golden Girls" before? Well, j'adore les filles golden and now especiallement Bea Arthur! (J'adore fake french, too, obviously--or should I say, "faux francais"). The IMDB reports:

"Golden Girls star Bea Arthur sparked a security scare at Boston's Logan International Airport earlier this week when she tried to board a flight with a pocketknife in her handbag. The actress, 81, was about to board a Cape Air flight when a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) agent discovered the offensive article in her belongings, which is strictly forbidden on airplanes since the September 11th attacks. A fellow passenger says, "She started yelling that it wasn't hers and said 'The terrorists put it there'. She kept yelling about the 'terrorists, the terrorists, the terrorists'." After the knife was confiscated by TSA officials, the funnywoman pulled out a key ring from her bag and told the agent it belonged to the "terrorists", before throwing it at them. As she boarded the plane, the Emmy-winning star told the TSA employees, "We're all doomed." A spokeswoman for Cape Air says, 'Miss Arthur was cracking jokes and was a real character.' "

How insane to be boarding a plane with Maude and have her screaming "the terrorists, the terrorists" and "we're all doomed!" Hee hee! Seriously, don't security people watch tv? DON'T THEY KNOW WHO SHE IS?? And even if they never watched the Lifetime network in their lives, she's an old lady! Give her a break! My Heart Bea-longs to Bea Arthur!

In other non-news, there's a little tidbit in Richard "Dick" Johnson's column that warmed my cockles. I love nothing more than a couple breaking up who recently appeared in an "Our Lives Are Perfect" puff piece--ha ha HA! The happy couple in question? Handbag/manbag mavens Kate and Andy Spade, who recently had a big spread in "Vanity Fair" about their wonderful, ultra-chic, totally fulfilling PERFECT lives. Here's what Johnson had to say:

"There's trouble in the land of preppy perfection. Pixie couple Kate and Andy Spade have separated, with Kate holing up in New York and Andy off to stay with his brother, actor David Spade, on the West Coast. Spade has already vacated his CEO position at the handbag company the couple co-founded. "Andy doesn't want to be known as Mr. Kate Spade. He's never been comfortable in the fashion world," a close confidant shared. Since the company was sold to Neiman Marcus in 1999, "Andy wants to walk away. He wants to be working in television and film," we're told. A rep for Kate Spade said the two remain married."

Say it ain't so! Not the pixie preppies! I have GOT to find that article about them, I just have way too many magazines! It was chock full of photos of their fabulous, romantic, made-for-each-other ideal marriage. Don't get me wrong, I do not enjoy other people's misery (unless the person is Demi Moore or Gwyneth "Flapjacks" Paltrow), but when they go out of their way to create a brand image based on the idealization of their own lives and said idealization is a TOTAL SHAM created/controlled by p.r. people and 'handlers' and makes people feel crappy about their not-so-pixie-preppie lives, well, then, I am not too choked up when the lie is exposed and once again us little people realize that we don't have to feel so bad about our own less-than-perfect existences. So there! On the other hand, I do think jetting off to live with David Spade is going overboard. Why consign yourself to hell, Mr. Andy Spade? Are you a glutton for punishment or what? Sure he's your brother, but you are rich. YOU HAVE OPTIONS!!!

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