Thursday, July 29, 2004

Well, after a dry spell it is suddenly a downpour of news and non-news alike. In the news dept., we have a report from Michele S., who bravely went where your humble Felt Up Bloggette was too tired to go---the Crawford, TX screening of "Farehnheit 9/11." She and Terri R. drove in a caravan of cars from the Alamo Drafthouse, and said they got to the screening "just in time," because the line got so long after they got in it that it stretched on for what seemed like eternity. Later she heard that 5,000 people had shown up, but many had to be turned away for lack of room. Michele S. also noted that there were some pro-Bushies in attendance who "clapped every time Bush's face came on the screen," which to her was quite funny, since most times he appeared he was in full nincompoop mode. It sounds like there were no riots or other traumas, though, so that's somewhat reassuring. She and Terri R. didn't make it back to A-Town until 1:30 am, but Michele S. ended her report by saying that she was "so glad" they went.

Ooh, wait, this just in: Terri R. sent me her view of last night's events. She says that "most of the protestors were in town, hanging out on the sidewalks, by the storefronts." She saw "one lady wearing a rubber chicken mask (since Michael Moore was too 'chicken' to show up
for the screening) and a sign that said something about 'Mooron, Kerry and Hanoi Jane'! Hanoi Jane!" which totally outraged Terri R.'s delicate sensiblities: "What year is it? For crying out loud! Let it go, people!" Well said, milady. Well said. (She also wants it to be known that "Mooron" is not a typo, but some knucklehead's idea of a "clever" play on "Michael Moore" being a "Moron." Wow, that IS clever! Move over Oscar Wilde!)

Extra-special big kudos to my brave friends!

From the non-news file: first off, a description of Jack Nicholson's tribute to Marlon Brando in the new Rolling Stone. From the IMDB:

"Veteran actor Jack Nicholson has written an emotional obituary for his pal, mentor and neighbor Marlon Brando in the new Rolling Stone magazine. The actor, who lived next door to Brando's Mulholland Drive compound, admits in the piece that Brando has been 'my idol all my professional life.' Nicholson states of his friend, 'He had this extraordinary physical beauty and a power that was hard to define but completely undeniable... The movie audience just knew that he was it.' The actor also recalls the first time he came face to face with Brando, who he compares to his favorite artist Pablo Picasso, on the MGM studio lot. He remembers, "When Marlon came on the lot, you should have seen those Venetian blinds flying up in the air and those secretaries sticking their heads out the window. This man was a true sensation." Nicholson actually sneaked onto The Teahouse Of The August Moon set to watch his hero. He reveals, 'On that picture, the crew had these smocks and kimonos to identify them, so it took me a little work to sneak in there and watch him. But nothing could have stopped me from watching Marlon Brando up close.' In the obituary, Nicholson also regrets that everyone focused on his pal's weight issues in the last decade of his life - and not his greatness. He adds, 'It disturbs me that toward the end, all some people could speak about was his weight... What Mr. Brando does for a living ain't done by the pound.' "

What else can I add to that? (It's really hard to type when you are teary-eyed. Oh, Marlon! Sob!)

How's this for silly non-news: Richard "Dick" Johnson writes in his "Page Six" column that "in case anyone needed further proof that Kabbalah, the branch of Jewish mysticism embraced by celebs like Madonna, is a money-making venture, look no further than Target. The store is now selling red Kabbalah strings — like the ones Madonna, Demi Moore and Britney Spears wear — for $25.99. Listed as a 'hot buy' on Target's Web site, the string is 'believed to protect against the evil eye.' Each is guaranteed to have 'traveled to Israel, to the ancient tomb of Rachel the Matriarch, and returned imbued with the essence of protection.' Many mainstream Jewish leaders have blasted the Kabbalah Center's commercial ventures like selling the strings and 'Kabbalah water.'"

Oy, vey. Are we really supposed to believe that Target is sending cases of Kabbalah strings to the "ancient tomb of Rachel the Matriarch"? I can't even get an Isaac Mizrahi skirt in my size at the joint, and now they're peddling "evil eye" protective strings? Does all the money flow back to Madonna somehow? I'm getting (even more) scared of her. Eeek!

From the "Where Can I Get a Copy of this Magazine?" file, again from Mr. Johnson:

"PNEUMATIC nut case Anna Nicole Smith has posed nude for a fashion magazine to prove she didn't have gastric-bypass surgery. The merry widow recently shed 80 pounds. Although she attributes it to Trimspa, the diet supplement she hawks, surgery rumors have circulated. A few weeks ago she took it all off for MAO, a Fashion Week publication that comes out during the shows in September and through 'We asked her to re-create the famous Marilyn Monroe pose for the centerfold of our Icon issue,' MAO rep Roger Padilha tells us. 'She thought it would be a good way to quash the rumors. I was there and can 100 percent vouch that she had no scars.'"

Oh, craaaaazy Anna Nicole, I heart you. Fat or thin, gastric bypass surgery or crystal meth or la cocaina or whatever you did to lose that weight, I will always heart you. Por vida!

And finally, Johnson reports that one of my favorite nutty Scots got into a scrap with extra-crazy right-wing panderer Bill O'Reilly:

" 'X-MEN: 2' star Alan Cumming butted heads with Bill O'Reilly at a Creative Coalition panel on arts funding that featured Arianna Huffington, Rep. Louise Slaughter and Alfre Woodward. 'I told him he was insane,' Cumming told us later. 'He was on this long rant about arts funding and I just turned to him and said, "You're insane!"' He didn't say anything. He just ignored me.' "

Hee hee. Ha ha! I heart anyone who will get in Bill O'Reilly's mean, ugly, unfair and unbalanced face. Bravo, Alan Cumming. BRAVO!

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