Thursday, July 22, 2004

The lead story in today's Page Six column by Richard "Dick" Johnson is a real humdinger! It seems that one of the butlers at the Bohemian Grove, the wacky-but-exclusive annual rich conservative guy retreat, is a former gay porn star. Yippee! Here's an edited account:

GAY PORN STAR SERVES MOGULS

THE power-moguls and political heavyweights now luxuriating at ultra-exclusive retreat Bohemian Grove are unaware that they're being waited on hand-and-foot by a famous gay porn star.

We're told that "Chad Savage," who has appeared in such carnal classics as "How the West Was Hung," is supplementing his sex job by working as a valet at Bohemian Grove, the all-male annual gathering inside a 2,700-acre redwood forest in Monte Rio, Calif., that has been attended by every Republican president since Calvin Coolidge, as well as by industrial titans and media magnates...Grove spokesman Sam Singer...said the club didn't care about his past. "All that matters is that the valets do good service," he said. "That's really all that matters."

Savage sure knows how to provide "service." When he starred in "How the West Was Hung" in 1999, one reviewer wrote that he wore a "beatific grin" while engaging in an orgy, and added that his "youthful enthusiasm is entirely winning."

When they're not listening to policy speeches, "Bohos" are known to urinate freely in the redwoods and perform mock-druidic rituals that revolve around a 40-foot-tall stone owl. In one ritual, called "Cremation of Care," members wearing red-hooded robes cremate a coffin effigy of "Dull Care" at the base of the owl altar.

While the club has claimed its share of accomplishments — Grovers privately boast that the Manhattan Project to develop the atom bomb was conceived on its grounds — its oddball activities aren't for everyone. Richard Nixon once famously described the gathering as "the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine."

Hee hee! Druidic rituals around a giant stone owl? Oh, those Bohos are a real hoot! (Rim shot...try the veal, etc.) Can't rich guys ever think up something FUN to do? And who would ever think I'd agree with Richard "Dick" Nixon about ANYTHING? But I'm definitely with Dick on this one...

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