Friday, June 25, 2004

OK, I suppose I am somewhat mollified by the fact that my new issue of People has Mary-Kate Olsen's EATING DISORDER CRISIS on the cover; I just want US Weekly's sassy/cheeky take on it, too. I'm sure it will come out next week. It better! So far, here's the best thing in this issue: Madonna says she chose the name Esther for her Kabbalah name because Queen Esther "saved the Jews from annihilation." Well, then, OF COURSE that should be Madonna's new name. She's got such a great sense of humility that I really admire. I would have a lot more respect for her Kabbalah-mania if she would actually convert to Judaism first, but I've heard that takes a lot of time, energy, and work. Why not just skip to the juicy, culty part? I can see the appeal.

There's also a review of a book called 'Thinner Than Thou,' in which "chubsters are forced into weight-loss 'concentration camps' and anorexics, bulemics, and the truly obese are kidnapped in the middle of the night by nunlike creatures who re-program them at a sinister 'convent.' " I guess this is some kind of non-fiction book about Hollywood. Watch your back Kirstie Alley, watch your back!

In the article about Mary-Kate, they mention other stars who have battled anorexia/bulemia, and they say that "when Tracey Gold failed to heed the demands of her 'Growing Pains' producers that she lose weight, the sitcom's writers inserted 'fat jokes' into the scripts." Nice. Luckily, the evil nuns were there to whisk her away to a convent after she developed anorexia.....All together now: There's NO business like SHOW business, there's NO business I knoooooowwww! Everything about it's so appeeaallling! Everything about it is divine! No other business gives that special feeeeling, that special feeeeling so fine! There's no PEOPLE like show PEOPLE there's no PEOPLE I knooooowwww....ok, I'll stop now. I heart show tunes. Sorry.

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